Through Pain Lies Beauty

They say beauty is pain. But what does that mean. It works when you think of love. Love can be so beautiful, but more often than not, it's painful. Beauty is pain; pain is beauty. Love is beautiful; love is painful. Why work so hard for something that is painful? ...because it can be beautiful. But beauty can come from pain. When a phoenix dies, a new one is born from its ashes. When a tree dies, eventually new plants grow from the nutrient rich soil. Life comes from death. Beauty comes from pain. Old relationships have to die in order for new, better, healthier relationships to form. Old love dies, and it's painful, but it's only to make room for something more beautiful.

Tobin had recently broken up with her long-term girlfriend. She was feeling the pain right now walking around her college campus, clearly in her head. But little did she know, something beautiful was lying just around the corner.

Tobin was meandering, trying to get away from all the thoughts running around her head. The only thing on her mind, holding Tobin hostage, was her recent break up. She had been with Alex Morgan for two years. And if you ask Tobin, she would tell you they were the best two years of her life. What she wouldn't tell you, though, are all the red flags she had been ignoring for the past six months. However, if you asked her friends and family, they could point out every last red flag in painstaking detail.

Like they say, love can be beautiful. It can be so beautiful that you look past it when your girlfriend doesn't like your friends, and your friends definitely don't like your girlfriend. I mean, there was that one time when Alex never showed up to Tobin's birthday dinner, and Tobin cried, cried, and cried in the bathroom for a majority of the night. But Alex forgot, and you can't be mad at someone for forgetting something; you don't forget on purpose. Plus, birthdays aren't that special anyways.

You also look past it when your mother, for some odd reason, just had a bad vibe about "this one." Tobin's mom would never trust Alex, not after that time when they got into a heated fight.

"Alex, I just think you need to distance yourself from your family from time to time for your own good."
"Your family has just as many issues as mine Tobin; don't pretend like your life is perfect."
"Yeah, my life isn't perfect, but just because your mom left, and your dad is a drunk doesn't mean you can drag me down with you!"
*Slap*

Alex didn't mean it though. She apologized immediately afterwards. She told Tobin she loved her for the first time that night. Tobin had been waiting a long time for that. Tobin tried to cover the bruise with makeup (the little she had), but when her mom came down that weekend, they both knew soccer balls didn't do that. Plus, Tobin should have never said any of that in the first place.

You might also tell yourself that these people in your life simply just don't "get it" because clearly you are the very first person on this earth to find a love so deep and so passionate that no one else could understand. Yeah, "beautiful love" can do that to you.

Tobin had definitely fallen into that trap. Alex and Tobin's friends could fake being cordial for about an hour or so before emotions would run high and names would start spewing out. However, Tobin always thought she was just attracted to strong, sometimes abrasive, personalities. They were all playfully fighting to be the line leader in Tobin's life. Tobin had a way of doing that, spinning a situation into the fluffiest, softest version of itself. Love, foggy love. Although, Tobin did struggle a little more with her mother's opinion of the love of her life, even before the "soccer ball to the face" incident.

When Tobin first brought Alex home for the annual family fourth of July cookout, Tobin was ecstatic to get her mother alone in the kitchen to hear her thoughts on Alex. She could only assume all the amazing things her mother would say about the diamond in the rough Tobin had found. However, to Tobin's surprise, her mother's thoughts were slightly less than enthusiastic.

"So...what did you think?" Tobin stated in somewhat of a whisper as she sauntered into the kitchen to help her mother clean up from the festivities.
"What did I think of what?" her mother questioned back clearly paying more attention to the dishes she was drying than to Tobin.
"Of Alex, obviously" Tobin said in carefree voice while jumping up onto the counter to sit.
"Oh...she seems nice" her mother said.
Tobin was caught off guard "Just nice!?"
"Yes, she seems nice."
"What about how gorgeous she is, or how funny, smart and energetic she is?"
"I mean all that matters is that you think that" her mother stated back with a slight lilt to her voice.
"You don't like her..." Tobin accused.
"It's not that I don't like her...I just don't necessarily like her for you" her mother said through gritted teeth. She was clearly trying to spare her daughters feelings, but was also trying to get her motherly point across.
"Why don't you like her? What's not to like?"
"Honey, I think she's nice. It's fine."

Tobin stormed out. Tobin's mother hadn't loved every girl that she brought home, she just didn't understand. What Tobin had with Alex was special and different. It would be fine. Her mother would come around. Her mother never came around. Love, delusional love.

All of these, anomalies, or at least that's what Tobin thought at the time, were playing around in her head. The walk around campus was meant to clear her mind, but instead it seemed like her whole relationship with Alex was on replay. Unfortunately, it wasn't the beautiful moments.

All these thoughts were reeling around her head as Tobin pranced around distracted. There was so much coming to light. All that Tobin had missed during those two years was coming to fruition. She turned the corner, not paying attention. All of a sudden, she was knocked on the ground trying to pull herself out of her foggy mind and return to reality. Then, there was a hand in her face helping her up. Tobin looked up to see a girl with a wickedly stunning smile and long, dark, curly hair. She had to catch her breath. "I'm sorry I knocked you over," the girl blurted out. Tobin took her hand and stood up, still a little star struck. "No, no. it's my fault." Tobin said blushing and rubbing the back of her neck "I'm kinda in my head a little." The other girl flashed that brilliant smile back at Tobin "I sorta know what that's like..." she stuck out her hand "hi, I'm Christen Press."