(My) Monster - A Jeremiah Valeska Story

Closure

I take a few days off from the university. I need to get my head straight. I decide to go to Minnesota and visit my family. I stay with my father and my brother for a week or so before returning back to Gotham. I cannot miss my classes for a longer time. Delilah calls me everyday and she tells me that Xander keeps asking about me. In all my honesty, I really miss Xander. I want to just jump into his arms and cry and ask him to take me back but I can't. The guilt is eating at me. Although I wouldn't call it cheating, he had broken up with me, but out of all the people left in the entire city of Gotham, I went and had sex with his twin brother, the one who caused this rift between us probably. God I'm so fucking stupid.

I step into the campus and squint my eyes immediately to shield myself from the sunlight falling over my eyes. The university garden is crowded, there are students lounging over the grass, on the benches and lurking near the walls. I lower my gaze and make my way through the crowds towards my locker. Once at my locker, I grab the books I need and fish through the hallway towards my classroom for my psychology class. Delilah is surprised when she sees me enter the class. I hadn't bothered informing her that I would be back today. I slide into my seat next to her and smile softly. She leans closer towards my ear and whispers into my ear. "You look like shit." I shrug casually and slide open my notepad,scribbling and jotting down my notes.

Once the class gets over, we look at our timetable and realize that we have got an hour free. "Let's do something fun! Let's go play badminton outside." She nudges me. I shake my head and snatch my arm away from Delilah. "Not in the mood. I'm just gonna go sit in the garden for a while. I want to be alone." Delilah pouts like a baby but doesn't push me. I hope she understands that I'm still not over Xander and I need time to go back to normal again. Maybe, I'll never go back to normal again. I haven't seen him in ages and my eyes are dying to take in his appearance but if I do, it will break my heart all over again. It's better that he isn't around right now.

Pushing these depressing thoughts aside for a minute , I sink into a corner over the grass and spread my legs out in front of me, pulling out a book that I had been reading from my bag. Just then, a shadow falls on my book in front of me, making me look up from my reading. I bite the insides of my cheeks nervously, my heart throbbing wildly against my chest. Why is he here?

"Can I sit Ruby?" He asks me nervously. There is a little sadness in his eyes and a pain behind his voice. Maybe he is suffering as much as I am. Just maybe we are in this together.

I nod and scoot over slightly to make a little space for him to sit under the shade of the tree above. He obliges and carefully sits down next to me, cross legged.

"I'm sorry Ruby.. I feel like a jerk."

My nostrils flare in anger and I cannot control myself when my hand comes in contact with his shoulder, slapping him. He is slightly thrown back due to the impact of my hit but doesn't react or move away. On the other hand, he just shifts closer. He then takes my hand with which I attacked him and places it to his lips soothingly.

"Ruby. I know what it feels like. I abandoned you."

"Yes. You did. You didn't even tell me what I did wrong. I had the right. "

"Ruby.."

He places his hand over the side of my face, stroking my wet cheek. I didn't realize I had started crying. He uses his thumb to wipe off the tear falling out of my eye.

"Why did you break up with me? Was I not good enough for you?" I cannot hide the hurt in my voice.

"No. You are perfect. It's just that...that day at the circus when I saw you like that , in that trailer, with Jerome, I couldn't take it.. It was my fault you got into that danger. I thought I was protecting you by not telling you about all of this but it backfired and got you in danger Ruby.."