MiRACLE (KnB Fanfic)

23.

"We think he has severe anxiety," Takahashi says, and his voice is only slightly hushed. It's coming from the living room, and-- ah, they're speaking in English. No wonder.

"You think?" Alex sounds exasperated, "have you not signed him up with a counselor? That's step one for children when they're grieving, aren't they?"

She knows what she's talking about-- and Takahashi does too. There's a bit of a condescending air through the house as they argue.

Hiroto doesn't really care.

He leans over the toilet bowl, and heaves up nothing but stomach acid. His throat is sore and everything burns like searing acid on his tongue, yet all he could think of was how much his head hurt and how loud the ringing in his ears was.

He wants to cry, but he has no energy to make anything more than a pitiful whimper. He's so nervous he could throw up-- he already did, so many times that he has nothing left to throw-- and Tatsuya's weak pattings on his back really isn't helping much.

"We have," Takahashi remains strangely calm, "but this isn't the first time. Hiroto-kun is a smart child, he knows what they're going to say and he doesn't want to hear it. If we force him to go through another session, he might shut himself in his room again, like that time a few years ago."

Like that time a few years ago? Hiroto worked to catch his breath, leaning hazily against the sink as he struggled to wash the horrid taste from his mouth. Were they talking about the time before he came into this world? Hiroto had some sort of depressive bout at that time too, didn't he?

"Are you okay?" Tatsuya asks him, looking bedraggled, and worried. His hands are extended in case Hiroto stumbles again.

Hiroto nods weakly, unable to look the boy in the eyes.

This was all so humiliating.

-

Alex was released from the hospital the day Takahashi had to leave, and they spent the greater of the time discussing what they could do for Hiroto thereafter.

They spoke mostly in English, because they didn't want Hiroto to eavesdrop-- so Hiroto wasn't going to tell them how much he understood.

Takahashi leaves soon after that, and Hiroto is stuck in this foreign house, forced to adapt. It doesn't sound as hard as it really feels. He adapted to this new world easily, but something's different this time.

This time, he feels Hiroto's pain. The real Hiroto, the one that disappeared-- he feels the agony, the depression, the anxiety. He feels it all and he just can't take it.

Hiroto spends an hour seated on his bed, blanket in his lap, lost in thought. He doesn't move, doesn't speak, barely breathes. Something goes through his head like a thread of endless questions that never has a full sentence-- plaguing his mind over and over and over--

Then he breathes out, slowly, slowly.

He feels like throwing up again.