I Didn't Mean To!

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—> Heads up! To say this is a long one would be a major understatement, so get ready. Hope you like it! <—

Also, slight TW: Cyrus has extreme anxiety in this story and lots of self-deprecating thoughts, mostly internalized homophobia. And there is mention of non-graphic violence.

Please, do not take any of Cyrus' self-hating thoughts in this seriously. It is just for the plotline, none of it applies to any of you. You are all beautiful people and you deserve the world.

•••

Cyrus' POV

On Friday morning, I walk into school about 20 minutes early and head to my locker to put my backpack away before class. When I get to my locker, I set my backpack down and put in my locker combination, before tugging on the door to open it. It won't open. Struggling intensely, I pull and pull on it, trying to yank it open, but it's hopeless. I've had my combination memorized for months, so I know I didn't get it wrong.

"Need some help, Underdog?"

I jump and then spin around, startled by the sudden voice that just came from behind me. I look to see TJ standing there, hands in his pockets. He looks at me with a smile on his face. Ugh, and he looks as gorgeous as ever. Oh how I just want to go out with him, and hug him, and hold his hand and kiss hi- STOP IT Cyrus! No. No. NO! Get yourself together and stop being such a worthless freak. What would he think if he knew you felt this way, huh?  He'd never want to see you again, I think to myself.

"Oh, uh, h-hey TJ," I respond, trying my best to push those thoughts to the back of my head. "Um, yeah, I can't seem to get my locker open. But you don't have to help, I can handle-"

I'm cut off by TJ pulling a scrunched up piece of lined paper out from where it was apparently stuck in my locker door, and then easily opening the door.

"There you go, muffin. All fixed," he tells me, and I momentarily blush at the new nickname.

My eyes immediately widen when I recognize the heat that has come to my face. I then briefly turn around as casually as possible and squeeze my eyes shut. I internally scream at myself once again. I have to make this stop. Nobody wants me to be this way; not me, and especially not TJ. Quickly, I turn back towards him with a fake smile.

"Everything alright, Cyrus?" TJ questions. Oh no. Can he see through my fake expression??

I try to make my smile seem more genuine. "Yeah, 'f course. Thank you for the help."

I turn around once more and stuff my backpack into my locker. I grab my textbook and shut the locker door. When I look at TJ again, he looks like he wants to say something. But he also looks unsure.

"What's up, Teej?" I ask, curiously.

He looks at the ground as he shuffles his feet around a bit. His hands are back in his pockets. He finally lifts up his head to look at me and speaks, "I was wondering if you wanted to sleep over tonight? We could play video games and watch some movies and stuff. I also have snacks. Chocolate bars, chips, popcorn. Or fruit if you prefer that, anything you feel like."

I freeze at that. I've never been to his house before, despite us being practically best friends. Although he has picked me up from my house before to go places. I grow increasingly nervous as I start overthinking and telling myself about everything that could go wrong. I could say something wrong that makes him upset or angry. I could act too weird and have him make fun of me. Or way worse...I could accidentally do something that reveals my crush on him. Crush. I really have grown to hate that word. I mean you would, too, if you always seemed to like someone you didn't want to and weren't supposed to like, wouldn't you?

Tyrus Oneshots || Andi MackWhere stories live. Discover now