engraved (Louis Tomlinson)

ripping off the bandaid

"We discussed this two days ago, Louis. We've only got a few more days off, you have to do it now."

"I don't have to do anything, Harry."

"Louis, I know you don't want to do this, but I think you should." Harry's voice of reason speaks to me through the headpiece of my phone. Not one part of me wants to do this, but I know it's something I need to.

"I know, mate. I know. But I can't meet her in public, and I don't want her coming here, I don't want the paps seeing that." Or Amber.

"Stop procrastinating and just do it, Louis. The longer you drag it out, the worse it'll be." Harry says, calling me out on the intentions behind my phone call to him - to delay the inevitable.

"I'm heading out for the day. Just come round to my house and ask her to meet you here." He speaks again.

Of course Harry has a solution - and I have no way out of this.

"Alright. Thanks, Harry."

"Don't think about it and just text her, Louis. Call me again if you need, mate."

It's not until he hangs up that I realize he's right. This isn't something I have any desire in doing, but rather something I need to do in order to move on; I'm fully aware of this. But it doesn't ease the pure fear in the pit of my stomach.

Just text her. Harry's parting words are the only thing running through my head as I pick up my phone and message the person that, up until now, I had never wanted to see again.

Louis: Hello.

Eleanor: Hi Louis. You alright?

Louis: Yeah, fine. Could you meet me for coffee or something?

Eleanor: Now you wanna talk? So fitting.

Facetious bitch.

Louis: You're in no position to judge how I dealt with things.

Eleanor: Sorry. I'm just a bit shocked. But yeah, I can do coffee.

Louis: I can't do public. Can you meet me at Harry's?

Eleanor: I'll be there in 30.

Don't think about it - Harry's words have become a mantra, carrying me to my car. Don't think about it - the words my mind has been screaming at me have taken me all the way to Harry's house. Just don't think about it - I'm out of the car and my feet are dragging me up the porch and to the front door. Don't think about it - she's not even here yet. My shaking hands have found Harry's key on my keychain. Don't bloody think about it ­- I've unlocked the door, and I'm standing in the foyer. I'm here. Don't think about it - God fucking dammit, I can't believe I'm doing this. I need more time. I can't do this.

The sound of the doorbell stops the panicked thoughts racing through my mind, as my body impulsively turns to stare at it.

"It's open." My voice is stronger than I thought it would be.

Click. The door creaks open, and my breathing stops. Everything stops. This is it.

Eleanor quietly and gracefully slips through the door, closing it behind her and standing in front of me, wearing a loose black dress, her long hair decorates her shoulders. "Hi, Louis." Her voice is quiet and shaky. Good.

"Erm, do you want a coffee or something?" I ask her as I lead us towards Harry's living area.

"No, no I'm alright, thanks."

Thank God.

I take a seat on the red vintage arm chair, while Eleanor sits on the black sofa across from me.