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17

☾“I’m shooting for the sky

Because I’m ready to die,

Die, die”

-Iggy and The Stooges, Ready to Die ☽

 

“To my dearest Mother, I know I haven’t been around much, and I’m sorry, I had too. I needed to get you ready for the inevitable. There was no way I could stop it, no way anyone could.

 

Please don’t be mad, I beg you, please don’t. And please don’t cry. I’ve always hated it when you cried.

 

I’m sorry for the mess I made. The big mess. You’ve always hated messes, but this can be cleaned up.

 

Tell Ms. Golinsky that I wont be able to perform anymore. I know she’ll be sad but she can find another singer, one more talented than me. It’s not that hard.

 

And please tell Penny she doesn’t need to worry about her boyfriend anymore, and that I’m still sorry for sleeping with him. I didn’t know, I really didn’t.

 

Also, could you tell Dr. Greg that I tried to stop, and he shouldn't feel failed as a therapist. I was too far gone for him to help.

 

The only way I could explain why, Mom, is that my heartbeat drove me mad. I didn’t need to feel it, not anymore. The constant beating irritated me to no end.

 

I also needed to be with Adam.

 

I loved him, Mom.

 

We kissed. We kissed the day before he died. On the lookout where the tree’s meet with the river and the sunsets dance across the water.

 

I think I’ve said enough.

 

I don’t want a funeral.

 

-Jude

 

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The End.