Gay-Jay

"Fag, Homo, Queer"... I've Heard It All

Most people don't understand the hell that they put me through this year in high school. My Senior Year was supposed to be epic... exciting! But there's always that one factor that can throw you off and ruin your plans for good. That one thing that you think is so small, yet it has the potential to either ruin your life, or rebuild it into a masterpiece.

I totally get that when I told my friends I was gay, that some of them freaked out. I mean, I went from St. Drake High's leading quarter back to total outcast, just because I liked boys. At first, I took it really hard. I felt like I wasn't a part of the team anymore just because they feared I would sneak a peak at their dicks in the locker room. And often times I had thought about it. But then I realized that the people who stuck by me really did care. Some of them even quit the football team just to show their anger at how the team rejected me. Of course, I felt a little bad. I really didn't want it to turn into THAT big of a thing, and I felt like I was the cause for all of the fighting that had suddenly broke out among those closest--and farthest--to me.

Not only did that happen, but I also earned a nickname as well. A nickname that I still have to remind myself not to write down on an application or college paper, because it's still drilled into my memory. My name is Aj Laroux, but they called me "Gay-jay". "Fag, Homo, Queer" were all things that I expected to hear, and trust me.... I heard it all. But Gay-jay? I hated it. It was like they wanted me to believe my 'gayness' was a bad thing, by using my name as the source of it. Like I was a bad thing. It really hurt my pride...bad. But what bugged me most is what I'm going to tell you in this story. It's what started the most painful aspects of my life, and still causes me to struggle with my confidence today.

Little did I know that within a brief period of time, one transfer student--the one who inspired me to take on all of this pain--would also become the love of my life, and my greatest inspiration....