𝐙𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐆𝐈 𝐍𝐀 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐈 𝐃𝐎𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐀 ✓

07| chater seven

07 | 

CHAPTER SEVEN 

- 

Life seemed happier, today. Past year had been tougher for all four of us. Zeena had a rough time, almost taken her life the next day of her wedding and thank god, Derek saved her from the agony.

"Zee, I think you need to vent, how long are you going to be like this? Push it all out, Zeena." I said to her, a year before.

And she did. She started crying, she let out every feeling and emotion in her body and soul, we have never seen Zeena this way—crying it out everything, the grief that Arjun left her or the depressed faces of her parents—everything seemed to affect her in every aspect of her life. We took a long break from our jobs; we had too, she needed us. We requested, pleaded our bosses for the long leave.

And we had our jobs at risk; we didn't care. All we care was about the strong, yet timid friend of ours—Zeena Dulquer—who once set fire in the chemistry lab.

And everything went out in bizarre; the rough past, the rough breakup and everything seemed like a dust on the grain. Zeena is normal again, she's Zeena again.

"Zeena, you are fine, aren't you? Show me your wrists." Meera whispers to her and like a reckless child, she rolls her eyes.

"Shut up, Meera. I'm fine now, alright? You guys are behaving like some asylum doctors or those psychiatrists you guys planned to take me. I'm fine, I don't need anyone right now, and I can live by myself. You guys are wasting your money on this stupid trip to Paris. Come on, guys, grow up!" Zeena yells out and everybody in the café stares at us.

"Zeena, calm down, you're making a scene here. Sit down, please." I say to her and she sits down, wipes the foam on her upper lip.

"I understand, Zeena," Aksa speaks, "We all do and we're worried about you. You are our best friend, Zeena. We care for you and we're ready to do anything. We left our jobs; came on this trip with our savings because we love you, okay! We can do anything to bring you back. To bring that Zeena who's only aim was to marry and come to Paris with her friends."

I wipe my tears and look at Zeena, "Zeena, you've not lost anything in your life; you've the love of your parents, your friends and the children who love your books. We all love you for who you are—you wouldn't have been happier if you've married that son of a bitch, Arjun. Be grateful that the wedding was off and here you're spending the time with your friends with hot chocolate."

Everything goes right. Zeena hugs me tight and sobs pretty badly, whispering sorry to us all and we just rub her back, as usual.

"Sorry won't mend things, Zeena. Talk the things with us—how are you feeling? Do you feel like killing yourself, again?" I mutter to her and she nods her head.

"Let's go back to the hotel, I have things to say."

*

As we four settle ourselves on the bed, comfortably, Zeena wipes her tears and look at us with her dull ridden eyes and dark circles.

"Don't interrupt me, guys." She breaths in and out and continues, "I didn't understand how I felt from the next day Arjun left me. Everything seemed so empty, I felt empty, and my life had no life. You got it, right, Zeena? The concrete life you were living in Mumbai before you came back to Calcutta? Right, I'm here, ain't it? Breathing, existing and staring.

I don't know, guys, it hurts. Every single time, it hurts. My break ups always left me dreaded. I hate my life; every single second of my life. I—I don't know...feels like eternity since I'm talking.

My mind doesn't seem to accept the sad ending; I know that not everybody deserves it, but why didn't I? Why don't I deserve the bloody happy ending! My whole childhood and the second before my wedding, every second, I still believe that fairytales existed. Happy endings, huh, existed didn't they? Why can't I get it in my brain? Why can't I accept it that I WON'T GET HIM BACK? That he left me forever. I can't grip it in my fingers, guys! Help me, help me; please...I can't do it anymore."

She huffs after her breakout and I sigh deeply before pulling her into an embrace.

"Zeena, look into my eyes," she stares at me, "It hurts, I know, trust me everything in this world is supposed to hurt. But, you know what the best part in this world is—that you exist, you're living and you could open to few people. But, it's not up to the people around you—it's about you! You've to accept it, Zeena. He's not going to come around you, love, life isn't always sunshine and rainbows, yeah. It's almost dark clouds and sad storms. You've to accept both—both the sides neutral you and makes you who you truly are.

Zeena Dulquer, being yourself is the most hardest and the bravest thing you could ever do, and you've done it. I'm not saying it as your friend, but as the old Azra Malik you've met in your eighth grade with timid smile and two plaits—you're strong.

And strong means, facing every obstacle your life had caused you. You will breakdown at some point, you'll melt or people might break you—but the broken things, when attached, looks beautiful than its original self. Endure yourself, attach yourself again, love yourself and most importantly, accept the way you are.

Being not okay, is okay.

We love you."

*

Whoa! ZNMD is over! Successfully over; I'm extremely proud of my work, actually. I'll try editing it when I'm free, but for now, I'm taking leave. I have learnt lot from my characters that they've become so close to me. Azra and Aksa will be my favorite, I'll be writing another chapter—to make you deeply understand the depth of their characters—as the epilogue which will be coming after March eighteen. My boards will be over by that time and then, I'll be off to eleventh—I'll be getting time and I'll portray my emotions through these characters—as this book will be getting sequel! (:

- love, 

jaf.