Lucinda's Spell

I have this memory of Kyle. It's like a dream, and in it, I'm eight years old again, hiding in the bushes, watching him. He's standing at the edge of the lake, dressed in his blue graduation gown, sipping a beer. It's commencement night and a bunch of graduates, the "cool kids," are having a party down there.

I always wondered why Kyle was alone, when all his friends were together, gathered around the warm campfire, downing their beers, and singing obnoxiously. His expression that night troubled me. Even at such a young age, I knew something was wrong.

That memory is nothing more than a slew of fragments now. I remember Lucinda comes in and puts her arms around Kyle, kissing his neck seductively. I knew I shouldn't be watching, but something was keeping my eyes glued to them, as if a spell had been cast over me. She stares in my direction while nibbling on Kyle's neck. It was like she could see me watching and challenged me to say something. I still don't know if she could see me or if it was all in my head.

"If you don't come back to me," I heard Lucinda say, "I'll swim to my secret place and stay there forever."

Kyle pulls away and stands there miserably, his shoulders hunched. He takes a final swing of the beer and smashes the bottle onto the ground. It shatters. Lucinda screams and backs away, frightened. She scrubs at her face with her sleeve, wiping at her tears. She's pretending to be a victim, but everyone knew better. Even Kyle.

"I need you to trust me," she tells him, but of course he couldn't. Everyone knew not to trust Lucinda. No one could, really. She had a way of getting people to confide in her then using their secrets to control them.

"I can't trust you after what you did," he tells her and tries to storm off. She won't let him. She pulls him toward her, but he refuses to give in.

Lucinda sobs for a moment, and then flings herself into the lake, wading out where it's deep, her red robe floating on the water around her. Kyle watches her for a brief second, before turning his back and walking away.

Lucinda changes her mind, obviously having lost the battle, and starts to come back out. I can't remember what happened next. I struggle to, praying that the missing piece of the puzzle will solve itself. It never does.

All I remember are my eyes growing in horror as something under the water begins to pull Lucinda down. Deeper and deeper into the lake. Until her body disappears all the way in and all that's left is her hand giving in and sinking down with the rest of her body.

That's where my memory fades. My psychiatrist told me I was just a child and couldn't deal with what I saw. Lucinda disappeared that warm June night and her body was never found. Kyle said she must have drowned herself, but I knew better. Someone made her drown.

I never told anybody that I'd been there. The person who killed Lucinda could have been any of the seniors at the party. It could also have been my brother Kyle.

***

That was over ten years ago. Lucinda was lost in oblivion now, to everyone except Kyle. We moved away after that tragic incident so Kyle could get the therapy he needed to relieve himself of the guilt that kept him from sleeping and made him babble terrible things in the dark. He said he was responsible for Lucinda's death, turning his back on her when she needed him most. He said she was down there under the lake in her secret place, waiting for him to come get her.

Kyle insisted on going back to the lake after mom died. Now, we were standing in the same spot on the lakeshore, but the lake wasn't there anymore. After several years of drought, it had shrunk to a murky puddle off in the distance. Most of the houses around the lake had been torn down. We were staring out into a valley of nothingness.