you were supposed to be my favorite month
warm jackets and warm colors
leaves starting to crunch on pavement
i know that living here
is to romanticize seasons i never see
but still
i hoped it would rain
i spent nights
in someone else's jacket
not really wishing to be someone else but
hoping to not be me anymore
i don't remember most days
i remember skipping classes and homework
hoping the weight of it
wouldn't crush me but at the same time
waiting for it
i thought about killing myself
twice
or maybe three times
sometimes days blur together
and i can't remember exactly when it got worse
but i think about it more now,
in november
you were supposed to be my favorite month
scary movies and hot drinks
the only thing scary was the height
of the library staircase
and the story of the girl who jumped off
the crack she left in the tile floor
my fear of dying and my fear of living
the only thing hot was the humid weather
still
i hoped cold air would be a comfort
YOU ARE READING
falling asleep to static
Poésie❝i've been asleep in my own body for so long, i've forgotten who i was. i leave the tv on at night to help me sleep, but all i hear is static❞ a collection of poems about my struggles with mental health and trying to overcome it. some days are worse...
