Twins of Tenby Hall

Chapter 15

I am so sorry I am so long in writing back to you! I knew you would scold me about the library debacle. The more I think of Kirkley's behavior the more I am unsure of him. He has not written me once since he departed, after assuring me so prettily he would. Surely if he had sent a letter home it would have been re-directed here by now; I have been here over a week after all!
Town is absolutely lovely! Yesterday we visited Almack's where I found dear Miss Cotton. Grace says she sees him at most functions but never at Almacks's, which is not surprising as I doubt he would be able to acquire a voucher if the rumors of his financial state are true. I hope I shan't see him while I am here, I am determined to be a picture of discretion and propriety from this moment on. Grace says our Mr Westbrook has not attended any functions to her knowledge, but that Cousin Edwin is in town. I regret to inform Grace will not do for Matthew, I feel she is affectionate towards Cousin Edwin and Matthew inferred once at our coming out that Edwin may also fancy her. 

I had told myself yesterday I shall not pursue Matthew. I miss him and seek him out every place I go, but I had come to the conclusion I merely miss him as a dear friend and companionable presence. I was convinced my feelings for him were a product of overactive imaginations brought about by my feelings for Kirkley. I had thought 'how awkward it is to admit such a silly thing as a romantic affection for Matthew' and thought you would not approve. Now you have shone him in such a favorable light I cannot cease thinking of how good a man he is! Now you have made it seem such a sensible and natural thing for me to have fallen in love with him and are encouraging me to pursue him! Now I am in more turmoil within myself than before! Even if I am falling for him, I shan't risk ruining our friendship; it is unlikely he feels the same for me. I digress from the subject of men, I do not wish to speak of them.

We are to attend a crush tomorrow night, I look forward to it less after your account of it, I do not have a Mr Dunsworth to protect my bottom. I shall wear an extra petticoat as an additional layer of armor. Speaking of Mr Dunsworth – as you insist on loving him I have no choice but to love him too, for your sake, and hope you do not love him in vain; I am eager to hear every news of his growing fonder of you. Have you yet any hope of his loving you? Does he display any marked care or attention towards you? Do you often catch him gazing at you? Tell me all! 

I cannot wait for you to join me here! Especially now I hear that Lord Miles is there and acting so strangely; how horrid Izzy! I hope he does not attack you or kidnap you! You are right in that it is most likely he is harmless, but it is still unnerving to have that man stalking you so; it makes me shudder to think of it!

Stay safe dearest!

The most love,

Your Em