Some days are harder than others...Sometimes it's like every little painful thing sits patiently, undisturbed in a certain corner of my mind, waiting for some sort of "community meeting"...That's when it all starts crashing down and it's only going downhill from that point forward. I could be having one of the happiest days of my life, but out of the blue, a dark wave sneaks up on me, swallowing me whole, leaving me speechless and shrouded in the coldness of my cerebral mausoleum. It might sound hard to believe, maybe even overly-dramatized for some of you, but those very thoughts of guilt, disappointment, fear and lately even loneliness feel like flesh-tearing bullets, each one of them trying to inflict more damage than the previous one. A crescendo of despair that wants to rip away all the uplifting mementos I locked away in a crevice of my heart and tear down the walls I built around it, where paintings of a better future were once hung up. In these very moments of inevitable self-destruction I try with all of my might to reach out for help, but whenever I open my mouth, no sound comes out...
When I'm surrounded by people I have to be strong, since nobody wants to show how fragile and weak they are. Most people are cruel, but I don't blame them for choosing not to put up with somebody else's problems, because it can feel many times worse than for the said broken being. Natural selection might be an actual factor here, especially since every malfunction of the brain is seen and thought of as a disability. After all, a machine cannot function properly if its central processing unit is faulty and in our case, that CPU is our brain.
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Thoughts
De TodoI've decided to write some of the things that I believe most of us can relate to nowadays. These are my thoughts alone and they can differ from yours...Therefore, please be considerate and if my words spark something within you, let's talk about it!
