Why?

How Suprising

July 26,1993

Mother finally did it. She overdosed. I'm going back to the orphanage today. Now I officially have nothing to look forward to. Hopefully one day, I can start over. Maybe one day, I will be able to feel again.

August 25,1993

I can't do it. I can't go back to school knowing that there wouldn't be a single person that wouldn't criticize me. Ever since mother died there has been a hole in my heart that may never be filled. I can't go. I just can't.

August 26,1993

School starts today. It's just another stage of depression to endure. Sister Margaret made me a dress to wear out of torn cloth and faded buttons. She says I'd do well and nothing bad would happen. Way to jinx it.

August 27,1993

I don't have to go back for a while. Not until my bruises have healed along with the cuts. Yesterday the girls threw me in the boiler room and beat me until my eyes turned bloodshot and my nose was crooked. I'm actually glad I got hurt so I don't have to go back.

August 29,1993

A doctor came over to see the damage. I need medical assistance. Far more than the 78 year old doctor could provide. The orphanage can't afford it. When I heard him say I may be out for the rest of the school quarter, I wished I could move because I would dance around until my knees gave out, but all I could do was clinch my fist together.