one day i woke up and realized i didn't know who i was.
so i followed the thought with purchases of second-hand books, with unique coffee, with a plethora of dead relatives.
all in a desperate attempt to find myself in something that wasn't produced by my thoughts.
i clung onto the idea that things i love would show me who i'm supposed to be.
and while that's not entirely incorrect,
my soul, my heart, my head, are still at a disconnect.
one doesn't know what to do with the others.
they're bickering neighbors and this body is their landlord.
but this authority doesn't know how to make it's tenants content.
it's not known how to quiet one, or which one to listen to.
each of their tales are filled with reason & woe.
and now i've painted this picture and i don't know where to go.
so for now, i guess, i'll just say a simple goodbye.
while i hope to write you next in better, more tolerable times.
-
k.h.
january 19th, 2020.
