Feathers (Rusger)

Leaving

"I shouldn't have seen you as a pet. I know I shouldn't but I didn't know why I did anyways. I just thought, if I saw you as a pet maybe, maybe you wouldn't have to leave me. Because you wouldn't have a reason to leave me and you needed me. I don't have anyone else. Amongst my siblings Ukraine's the closest I've been with but we still fought often. I'm sorry."

Germany could only watch as Russia's blurry form kept his grip, tightening ever so slightly. He'd never seen Russia so, well, sad? Sad would be an understatement. Desperate? Miserable? Pitiful? Weak?

The hug tightened to the point it made Germany wince. Russia immediately let go but remained kneeled and mumbling apologies. Germany rolled up the sleeves of the jacket and touched Russia's face. He felt his hand got wet as he realized Russia was crying. Now he was so very glad he didn't have his glasses with him. He didn't think he could bare seeing someone as strong as Russia, someone he loved, cry.

"Why are you crying?"

Russia hovered a hand over Germany's and hesitantly placed it on his, keeping it to his face. He didn't want to let go. He didn't want Germany to leave.

"What do you mean...? I hurt you."

"I didn't ask about why you're sorry, Russ. Tell me, how are you now?"

Russia stayed quiet then sighed, "Germany... Гер, I'm... I feel guilty and regretful. I'm sad you have to leave, I don't want to be alone again."

"You have Ukraine, Indonesia and China. Why would you still need me?" Germany asked. "It won't be the same. You were the reason I had even met China and Indonesia in the first place. My brother, I just explained that earlier. But, I've always felt alone. No one really wanted to be around me because I always looked intimidating. I'm always so distant and quiet with my family. My father doesn't even want me anymore."

Russia's tears fell harder after the last part. He started letting out very quiet sobbings unlike when he cried silently a few moments ago. Germany bent lower and wrapped his arms around Russia.

"It's alright, Russ. You... y-you don't have to give a shit about your father either...!" Germany said quietly. Russia felt as his back and shoulders getting wet. Germany, could very much relate to what Russia felt.

When his father went missing, he'd always think he'd come back. Kids always hid themselves behind lies to prevent truth. Soon he learned how much of a terrible person his father was even if he thought he was the hero. The forest, the critters, everyone had teased and harrassed him for his father.

It just made Germany wonder. What if his father ran away to escape consequences without Germany? Did he leave him there to pay for his actions instead? Did he think sacrificing his son as atonement was the right thing to do? Germany was at the state of anger at one point. He needed someone to help him or at least someone to blame. Poland and Japan couldn't help Germany enough. America didn't even try to help. So he went for his last option. He blamed it all on his father.

"Why are you crying?" Russia asked as his hands slowly wrapped around Germany. "B-because I've been there before. Sometimes, Russland, parents are terrible," Germany answered in his cracked voice, "It's not your fault they're like that." Russia nodded and hugged Germany gently.

"I'm still sorry..."

"It's okay, Russland," Germany said and let go of the hug, "but I still need time."

Germany could see Russia's blurry head nod in understanding. "You're going to leave tonight. You should go sleep now," Russia said, brushing a thumb on Germany's tear stained cheek. He picked Germany up without warning and placed him on the bed. "Do you want to get the jacket off?" Russia asked tugging on his jacket that Germany was still wearing.