I Remember Loving You (Sarah Paulson x Reader)

Chapter 3: Going Home

After I signed my discharge papers and getting my medication, we left the hospital. I was honestly lost, where did I live? Do I have a car? Do I even know how to drive? I laughed aloud, Sarah looked at me, "what's so funny?" She smiled. I looked at her while laughing, "I don't know if I drive or not." Sarah smiled at my growl sounding laugh, "okay, seriously, your hoarse laughter is really funny." She laughed. I laughed with her for a few seconds before regaining my composure. "Do I drive though? Do you drive?" I asked, Sarah's laughter faded and her eyes became filled with the usual sadness. "No, you don't drive, I was teaching you though, you were really good. My cars over there, come on." Sarah explained as she slowly turned to walk over to her car, taking my hand into hers, I'm guessing it was instinctual for her so despite feeling startled by her warm hand locking fingers with mine, I allowed her to take my hand and guide me to the car. It was pretty damn amazing car, it looked expensive, after we climbed in and got our safety belts on, I looked around, "how the hell do you pay for a car like this?!" I ask, my eyes wide in awe at all the features inside. "By working your ass off." She chuckled. "What do you do?" I ask, not realising that Sarah's chuckle was hiding some deep pain. "I uhm, I act. I'm an actress." She said, her voice shaky.

Damn it, I made her cry again. I need to stop asking shit so randomly. It's clear that it upsets her. "I'm just fucking with you!" I lied, "Of course I remember that much, how could I forget?" I was smiling, hoping she bought it. "You don't have to lie, (y/n), it's okay." She sniffed as she wiped her eyes, "you've always been a terrible liar." She teased. I smile sadly at her, "I'm so sorry, Sarah." I say, feeling a deep shame for being the way I was, she moves her hand to my face and stroked down my cheek with the back of her index finger, "it's okay." She leaned forward as if she was about to kiss me, but decided not to, instead she just wiped away the tear about to drip from her eye and turned the cars ignition on. It was a very quiet journey home.

We arrived to what I assume was her house, or was it our house? I decided not to ask because I didn't want to upset Sarah again. We got out of the car and Sarah grabbed some things from the trunk before locking up, we walked over to the front door and I was honestly just taken back by how fucking beautiful this house was. It was one story and looked more like a modern cottage but yknow, in L.A. Instead of some English countryside. "Well, welcome home, (y/n)." Sarah says as she pushed the front door open and stepped aside so I could walk in.

I KNEW this place. I remember the wooden floor, I remember the white walls and the art hanging up. I walked down the halls silently,  looking at everything. I knew the front room, the TV, the sofa, the tables, then I came across one individual picture that caught my attention. It was mostly black with a horribly painted galaxy in the sky, there was what I assume was meant to be a beach and some rocks beneath the swirl of stars. It looked like something a semi good art kid would paint. Suddenly, like a film reel, memories flashed through my head, "I remember this picture!" I exclaimed loudly without realising, Sarah rushed in, panicked by my loud voice, "what? Are you okay?" She asked in a worried voice, her hands out as if she was waiting for me to grab them. "Sorry, I just, I remember this place." I said, tears filling my eyes, "I remem-I remember this place. I know it, I don't know why but this place feels like my home, right?" I turn to face Sarah, waiting for her confirmation. She was beginning to sob quietly with a smile, she nodded several times, "yeah, this place is your home, that picture was the first piece we bought as a couple, I hated it but you loved it and so we bought it, you wanted in the bedroom and I-" I cut her off "you wanted it in the hall." I finish her sentence for her. "Yeah, since I let you buy it, you told me I could put it whenever I wanted." She laughed. "You told me you wanted to put it in the trash." I laugh to myself. "I really did, it started to grow on me though and now it's my favourite picture in the house." She explained as she locked hands with me again. I squeezed her hand, I knew the memories would start coming back, I just hope the rest come back as fast. After a few moments of silence Sarah asked "Anyway, do you want anything? Drink? Food?"
"I do need to pee, where's the bathroom?" I asked, Sarah pointed to the end of the hall, "on the left, sweetheart." I smile and thank her before letting go of her hand and making my way down the hall. She held on to my hand until the very last second before our skin lost contact.

I walk down the hall to see different pictures and pieces of art lining the walls, each picture very different from the last. There were pictures of Sarah with friends, some with other girls who looked similar to her, I guessed they were sisters, my eyes traced across every single little detail. There was another picture that caught my eye, except this one was vastly different to the first, it was a naked womans body, they were pale but their skin looked like silk, their hair was long and fell perfectly against their back. They were honestly, pretty damn sexy, my jaw dropped a little seeing the picture. I swallowed hard and moved my attention to the next picture, to be honest nothing quite compared to the naked lady picture. I recognised the picture but I couldn't remember if it was the picture itself or the woman's body that I recognised.

I eventually found the bathroom and went to pee. After washing my hands, I noticed a razor lying on the side of the bath and suddenly I felt a tightness in my chest and a wave of pain run through me, I clutched at my chest and tried to breathe but I couldn't, my lungs felt like they were being squeezed and I couldn't take in a single breath. I frantically try to call for Sarah but to avail, no sound came out of my mouth. I fell onto the toilet seat, clutching my chest hard, the pain was unreal, it was like a poisonous spider web scattered across the insides of my heart.

Was I having a heart attack? Was this seriously what was gonna kill me? No, it can't end like this. It just can't. I need to remember her, I need to remember Sarah. No, I refuse to die!