Alive and Kicking

Unsatisfied

"Everything you dream of is right in front of you, and everything is a lie."

"Winona! Winona!"

They kept screaming at her and it was kind of expected, she was at the silver carpet after-all posing with Scott. She was excited for this year's SAG Awards mostly because she missed her cast terribly, especially David.

Winona couldn't help but be slightly annoyed. Lily didn't let David leave her side ever since they started going out and she only saw David once after they finished doing press for ST3.

They used to visit each other whenever she would be in New York or he would somehow end up in San Francisco and now they seem more like strangers than friends, only seeing each other at the "business" related events.

She knew relationships needed work, hers and Scott's sure needed lots of it, but to be so possessive was just not right. It's not like Winona didn't like Lily, she was a really good choice for David. She was beautiful, intelligent and had a damn fine sense of humor, all the things David was searching for when they talked about his love life many months ago.

"Babe, we need to get inside".

Scott interrupted her train of thoughts before she could continue to overthink not seeing David for a long time and thank god he did. She didn't want the night she was so excited for to be ruined because she was jealous, no, not jealous, just in need of David.

She needed him so damn much. That was just the thing, when you get used to having there whenever it's hard realizing they can't be in your life as much anymore.

After-all, it would be weird calling David at 3 am to talk about life only for Lily to pick up the phone and misinterpret it as something more, could there be something more? No, Winona, snap out of it! She was trying to push her feelings further down, but they had the habit of resurfacing now and then, this was not the place nor the time though.

She first noticed liking David just recently when they were doing the event with the ST3 cast. He was so happy talking about him and Lily and how they were moving in together and it almost made her cry, that was the first sign.

The second sign was obvious, she was cooling down from Scott. He was a sweetheart, but he wanted more. She couldn't blame him, after eight years of dating anyone would think they'd already gotten married, but that's not what she wanted.

At this point, Winona wasn't even sure if she was with Scott just to have someone by her side, not because she truly loved him. They lived separately, only saw each other when she was not busy working (and she was always doing something), posed together for pictures with smiling faces, but they were so far from a happy couple.

The third sign was right now, at the SAG's silver carpet. Instead of enjoying her time with Scott by her side she was thinking of all the reasons why she doesn't want him there and instead of him someone who was currently not available and about to sit next to her for the rest of the night. Great, just fucking great.

"Let's do this" she muttered under her breath, before entering the venue with a smile she didn't feel like giving plastered on her face. This was going to be a fun night.

The venue was gorgeous as usual and she immediately had a flashback of last year's SAG she attended without Scott and with David as her "date", back then she saw him as nothing more than a friend and now she just laughed at that, what a difference a year makes. She and Scott were quickly escorted to their seats where Matt and Ross already sat patiently waiting for everyone else.

"Winona, you look like a goth queen"

Matt complimented clumsily, but it worked earning a laugh and a small bow from Winona before she took her seat. They spent the next 15 minutes or so mostly talking about the plans for shooting ST4. The only thing she knew was that it won't be in Atlanta, but she still had no idea if they would put her in a studio or the actual location.

"Hi everyone".

Nat's soft voice greeted everyone present and she took her seat with Charlie following close behind. The two of them reminded Winona of a time when she was engaged to Johnny, they did have a similar story after-all.

The two met before staring in a TV hit together, he has a past, she is young and innocent, and their relationship is heavily followed by media. It's almost the exact copy of her relationship with Johnny. She hoped the two of them won't end up like she and him did all those years ago.

Winona looked around. The kids were at their table, the venue was already full of people but there was no sight of David and Lily. She hasn't seen them at the silver carpet, so she knew they were going to be late, but it's been way too long, and the ceremony was starting soon.

What the hell is he thinking being late, he's never late. Her inner voice was yelling, and her frustration must've shown because Nat mouthed "Are you okay" with a worried look on her face. That girl sure noticed every little change on someone's face.

Winona mouthed "yes, it's okay" back to her with a reassuring smile even though she wasn't feeling all that awesome. What the hell was happening to her tonight, it's never been like this before.

The person on the stage took the mic to announce that the live stream has officially begun and that the ceremony will start in 5 minutes and just as she was about to ask Matt if David was even going to arrive someone covered her eyes.

"Guess who?" he asked in an exaggerated voice, but she knew exactly who it was, her knees buckled as soon as she had a smell of the familiar cologne. Finally.

"You're late" she didn't mean it to sound like that, accusatory almost, like he violated a code they had. She moved her head so that his hands were no longer covering her eyes and her doe eyes landed on his piercing blue ones. He was confused at her tone but still had that soft glimmer in his eyes making her completely forget why she was even annoyed.

"... but I am glad you made it" she added making sure to sound normal again, offering him a smile as her eyes quickly landed on his date.

Lily was wearing a red-pinkish gown, her short hair down and straightened, too polished for Winona's taste. Damn it she looks good though. Winona mentally kicked herself for staring, but the younger woman was truly glowing.

"Hi, I'm Lily"

The black-haired woman offered her hand for Winona, but the latter got up from her seat and hugged her. Why she did that, Winona had no idea. She wasn't a hugger, she hated hugging people she did not know and the whole ordeal was so out of character that even David had a hard time understanding why she did it.

She quickly pulled away with rosy cheeks and did her best to salvage the moment. It mostly worked.

"Sorry, it's just that David talks so much about you I feel like I already know you. I'm Winona by the way".

Nice save Winona, nice save. She hugged David as well, but this one was even more forced than the one she shared with Lily. They were both tense and while David was oblivious to what was happening in Winona's mind, she was very aware of the fact she just embarrassed herself in front of everyone.

"Oh no, I'm a hugger too" she winked at Winona as David pulled her chair to sit and take a sit of his own next to Winona who was already sitting down, trying to disappear.

Lily has always been in awe of Winona; she was her hero ever since the woman came back from the scandal that could've destroyed her but didn't. They were both fighters and knew exactly what they wanted. She was so lucky to not only be dating David but share the table with the ultimate boss lady, Winona.

"It's starting guys, good luck to all!" the announcer sounded off from the stage making everyone at the table turn towards it, instantly forgetting about everything that just went down.

Winona was glad, her anxiety was already starting to get the best of her, and this was a welcome distraction. Maybe she wasn't as excited as she thought.