Howling

Funerals, Not Fun

"So you know," I asked, locking my eyes with his anxiously.

"Of course I know. Don't worry, I can keep a secret."

Seth smiled and winked at me, his eyes somewhat glazed over from the morphine running through his veins. The machines steadily beeped as surgical nurses prepped him. They'd agreed that I could stay in the room as long as I didn't disrupt anything.

Naturally, I was fine with this.

Dr. Winchester quietly entered the OR, her hands up as an assistant tied her in a surgical gown and put her tighter-than-life gloves on.

I assume she gave us a smile, her cheeks rising just a bit below her shadowed eyes, mask hiding her mouth.

"Ready to do this," she asked softly.

"I'm ready, definitely," Seth confirmed, though his voice shook a bit.

"I'll see you on the other side," I told him softly, giving him the best reassurance I could muster at that moment and hoped I was right.

I squeezed his hand gently, a last attempt to calm him as they put the mask on him. We locked eyes one more time and I smiled, watching his eyes close as he counted down.

Dr. Winchester let a few moments pass after he stopped, making sure he was out.

She glanced at me across the table.

"You're absolutely sure you want to stay for this?"

I nodded, "Please. It helps to know."

"Alright. Bokhee, scalpel."

***

The metallic smell of blood pierced my nose like a thousand steak knives. I could barely understand what was going on as a scrub nurse escorted me out of the OR, machines beeping and whirring as if they too, where panicking.

Like me.

The blood had burst out of his neck, a rose blooming way too fast, unnatural, terrifying.

Dr. Winchester was working hard, I could see that, but I'd seen too much to process that fact.

"Get her out of here, now," she ordered in a stern, no, urgent tone. Her hands seemed to work double time, attention turned fully to Seth.

He looked so peaceful. Like nothing was going wrong.

That's all I could think as I plopped onto one of the waiting room benches, not really seeing anything. I'm not sure how long I sat for, whether it was a few minutes or a few hours. My mind went over every detail of his face, how his eyelids twitched in his sleep, the changes in his breaths...

My eyes told me people were coming in and going out, my ears gathered the sounds around me, but none of it registered.

It all felt so pointless.

A soft but strong hand on my shoulder broke me out of my stupor, leading me to glance up in the face of a concerned Korey. John flanked her, a mix of relief and worry on his face.

"How're you doing," Korey asked me, sinking into the seat next to mine.

Tears welled in my eyes and I tore my eyes off her face as I began choking up. The words rose, trying to get out but unfortunately, they were overshadowed by my sobs.

John softly rubbed my back as he and Korey hugged me close. I allowed myself to just cry into them, telling them everything I witnessed in the OR. Of course, they were upset as well and I even heard Korey sniffle a few times.