Diary of A masc girl

Entry 3

I ended up staying home today. I said it's 'cause I'm sick but I'm just not emotionally prepared. If I got on that bus I would burst into tears.

My Dads mad though. I've missed a lot of days. After I asked he said it was up to me and he proceeded to show me my grades and to calculate what percent of the school year I've missed.

This part mentions girl stuff so skip to next paragraph if that makes you uncomfortable.i never have or wanted to use a tampon, so one morning when I have swim class that day I ask my Dad to write a note and he gets mad at me for not wanting to use a tampon.

And for some reason he gets mad that I have a B in gym. Yes, Dad, because gym is so easy for us all. Remember, hmm, the track unit? When we had to run three laps around the track circle? Wait, you didn't get tired AT ALL? Wow, that's impressive, but not everyone is some godly figure like you apparently are.

I wish I at least had a cat here to snuggle right now, but Dad hates cats too, so. I'm starting to feel like he hates me.

One time, my sister and I said that we both wanna learn ukulele, and he said, "You could use my guitar over at my girlfriend's place, and I could teach you."

The entire time I felt like he was only talking to her. Would it make a difference to him if I stopped coming over entirely?

I feel like that would just make him more mad, but honestly, I can say that I prefer my Mom over my Dad.

My Mom has a stable job, doesn't shout when she's mad, let's you talk about things to you, makes jokes, helps you develop skills, and let's you have your own private time when you need it.

My Dad was fired and took three months to get another job, has told me before to stop bitching, I don't trust him enough to talk to about certain things, yes he does make jokes when he's alright and happy, Hells your sister develop skills, and barges into your room when you want to be alone.

Yes, I am complaining. That's the point of this book, to get out of my head and project my words somewhere I could possibly get help.

I have the national suicide hotline in my contacts, by suggestion of my Mom and Counselor.

I don't know what else to say, so I'll end this here.