Only Human Twilight

12

I followed the directions I'd obtained from Edward's mother to the address Carlisle had given me. After spending the previous night awake, thinking of all the possible outcomes of pursuing a relationship with this Edward, and then thinking of all the possible consequences on the future I'd come from, I realized I was in way over my head. I needed a voice of reason, a logical, sensible person to talk this through with. And luckily, the one person who knew my situation was just that.

Carlisle had a classic townhouse near the hospital. I smiled at the tidy brick and neat trim. Esme would have loved it.

The door opened before I could raise my hand to knock, and Carlisle greeted me with a smile.

"I could hear you coming up the walk," he explained. "Come on in."

"Thanks," I murmured, walking past him to enter. The door shut gently behind him.

He gestured to a doorway to the right. "Living room is that way."

The room was light and spacious, just like their house in Forks, but the furnishings were much sparser. There was a comfortable-looking blue sofa, perfect for lounging, and a large coffee table which had books spread across it. One wall featured a large fireplace, another had large windows.

"This is a lovely house," I commented, sitting on one end of the sofa.

"Thank you," he replied, taking the other end, facing me. "What is it that brings you here, Bella?"

Nervously, I smoothed my blouse. "Things are getting...serious, with Edward. I think. Last night he was dropping hints about marriage. And, well, that in itself isn't a bad thing, but...I'm worried. I mean, this is all going so fast and I'm already in Edward's past where I'm not supposed to be – what if I really mess things up and he never gets sick and never becomes a vampire? Because then I would never meet him and I wouldn't make the wish that sent me here, and then none of this would happen in the first place and – and I'm confused."

Carlisle had listened patiently while I rambled and now smiled. "You're definitely in something of a quandary, aren't you? I wish I had some definite answers for you – as you can imagine, however, your situation is rather unprecedented. I've been thinking about it, though, and I have a theory that may help you."

I latched onto that like a lifeboat on the Titanic. Which made me wander if they already found the titanic back then or if it was going to happen in the near future. "Anything is better than what I've got."

Grinning, Carlisle nodded. "It seems to me that you physically can't do anything that would make it impossible for you to be here. As you said, if you change something here that changes your future in a drastic manner, it prevents you from coming here – thus canceling everything out. And if everything is canceled out, what do you go back to? Does it all just reset? That doesn't seem possible to me."

I frowned. "That makes sense, but...what happens, then? If I try to do something that would change too much, does some invisible force just stop me...?"

Carlisle actually shrugged – I'd never seen him make such an undignified gesture. "Maybe it means that no matter what you do, things are going to turn out the way they're supposed to."

I nodded slowly. "I hope you're right...you have to be right, because I can't...I can't be stuck here. I can't live out my life here, no matter how much I love this time's Edward, because I have to get back to my Edward...I had a chance at eternity with him, and I miss him so much, it kills me..."

I was embarrassed to feel tears on my face and I swiped them away hastily.

Carlisle surprised me by placing a hand on my shoulder. "Have faith, Bella. Clearly, your love is extraordinary – you wouldn't have made it this far only to lose now."