Live Another Day

I'm Gonna Try

TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ (talk of assault)
Skip if needed ❤️

I wake up again, feeling a strong sense of despair. Jade got there in time. I shouldn't have texted her, I wouldn't have to be here anymore. I cant keep doing this. I open my eyes to see Andre standing against the wall with Tori leaning against him, his arms around her as she softly cries, Beck sitting in a chair with Cat sitting on his lap, arms around his neck and her head hidden against his chest, Robbie sitting on the ground against the wall, with his knees tucked into his chest, and Jade. Jade was sitting in a chair right next to my bed. One hand holding mine and the other draped around my waist. Her head was down against my chest and I hear her softly whispering, "Please wake up baby. Please. I need you. I love you. (Y/n), please." I can feel her tears soaking my hospital gown. As I look around the room at all my friends, I think to myself, "Maybe it's okay that I'm still here. Look at all these people who care about me."

I squeeze Jade's hand and once again her head snaps up. "Hey sweetheart." She says softly. My friends all look at me and they all start to tear up, with the exception of Robbie who just starts full on sobbing. I smile a bit because I truly realize that all these people in this room love me. "Robbie come here." I weakly motion for Robbie to come over to me." Robbie looks at me for a second before leaning down and gently hugging me. "Robbie..." I whisper. "It's okay." "No it's not!" He stands up and puts his hands on his head. "It's not okay! You tried to end your life! Nothing about this is okay!"

"He's right. (Y/n), if you were really this low, you should have talked to us about it. You can't go dying on us! We love you!" Tori says. "I love you guys too." I say, bringing Jade's hand to my lips and kissing it. "I'm sorry. It's just that it's been so hard. My dad beating me and raping me and those bullies-" Beck cuts me off. "Woah woah woah! He raped you?" "Yeah um, last night" Andre throws his hands in the air. "Alright, that's it! We gotta do something about this!" "NO! Absolutely not! If we told on him...no way. I would be beat to a pulp." I snap back. Andre starts to fight me on it but I shut him down. "But-" "Just leave it alone!" With that, there was an awkward silence and nobody was looking at each other. Except Jade. Her eyes were glued to me, like I was gonna vanish right before her eyes.

A week goes by and then I was okay to be discharged. Jade helps me into her car and asks what I wanna do. But what I want to do and what I need to do are two separate things. I would love to just go to Jade's house and sleep in her arms but I can't. Here I am, just getting out of the hospital, and I'm about to face my father after failing to kill myself. This should be good. "Jade, I have to go home." Jade starts to say okay but then she freezes. "You know what? No. I'm not about to allow you to walk back into that house. Especially right now. Absolutely not. You're staying with me for a little while." "Jade-" "No. We're done talking about this." I hear a bit of the snippy Jade that I hadn't heard in such a long time. She puts the car in drive and takes me to her house.

As we walk in the door, I start to panic. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" "Absolutely." She responds. "My parents are barely here so they won't care. And if you can be here, with me, undoubtedly safe, even if it's just for a little bit, then so be it. Being here without you, not knowing if you were being hurt or how bad you were being hurt..." Jade shutters and takes my hands. "I love you too much. Too much to know that you're being abused and taken advantage of." I nod my head and wrap my arms around her.

We head up to Jade's room and I change into a clean set of clothes that she gives me. Then she sits me down on the bed and removes my gauze carefully, cleaning the cuts, and putting on new gauze. Since being here, alone with Jade, I already feel slightly better. Nobody can lift my spirits the way she can. All I wanted right now was to be close to her. I just wanted her to hold me. She always can make me feel safe. Jade gets under the covers and I join her, getting as close as physically possible to her. She wraps her arms around me and I nuzzle my face into her neck. "Live another day." Jade whispers as she runs her fingers through my hair. "I love you Jade West. I'm gonna really try."

"That's my girl." Jade says softly against my ear. Oh my God I love this woman more than I ever thought possible.