♥ ɪ ʟᴀᴠᴀ ʏᴏᴜ ~ ʀᴇᴅᴅɪᴇ ♥

Prologue

- see end for authors note - 

Warnings:  Homophobia, Homophobic slurs 

~ 

Eddie Kaspbrak was not brave. He was not someone who turned heads when he walked into the room. He was small. He was fragile. Breakable. If you blew too hard you could certainly knock him right over. 

Eddie Kaspbrak did not speak up in class, and had one tight knit group of friends. He was seldom seen without them. He didn't like it when other kids tried to intrude on the group. 

Eddie Kaspbrak was the runt of the group. He had to go to the nurse before lunch to take his pills. He was sickly. 

Eddie Kaspbrak talked too quickly, and could not pay attention during class. 

Eddie Kaspbrak did not like to sing on stage. He prefered to stand behind with his guitar and a smile. 

Sickly 

Small

Fragile 

Breakable 

shy

Eddie had heard it all before. 

His whole life he'd been followed by those four words. And he'd like to think they weren't true. But that was just so damn hard when those four words follow you home. It was hard when your own mother is sure you will die the moment you are out of the walls of your personal prison cell. In his teenage years, Eddie had grown to become quite sneaky. He disappeared at night and returned before his mother could suspect a thing. 

He had sleepovers in his room on school nights. He unlocked his window for a boy his mother despised when he was sure his mother was asleep. He was a part of a popular teenage band that his mother didn't even know existed. School trips and sleepovers at Stan's just happened so often. His friends parents had been nothing but helpful to him. The amount of times Mrs. Uris  or Mrs. Denborough had kept Eddie's secret life a secret was almost too many for him to count. 

He had it good. Sure, almost every time he spoke to his mother he lied to her face, but he didn't mind it. He did what he had to do to survive, what was wrong with that? His mother was overbearing and harsh. 

Every night a boy would visit him. Every night they would meet with a kiss and a smile.  Some nights the boy came up to him, and other nights Eddie went down to him. 

This was Eddie Kasbrak, the sickly, small, and fragile, obediant boy's secret life. 

And he fucking loved it. 

Until it wasn't a secret anymore. 

He remembered that night like the horrible nightmare it had been. 

The boy, his boy, climbed into his window. Just like he always did. Eddie warned him to be quiet as the lanky boy clumsily entered the room. 

Eddie was so sure his mother had gone to bed. He was sure he'd heard her bed squeak. He was sure. 

And so the night went on. The pair laughed and held eachother close in the boys bed. The room was lit only by the light drifting in from the window beside Eddie's bed. It was Heaven. 

Until Satan herself awoke, and Eddie found her standing in the doorway. 

Eddie had never seen his mother look so disgusted him him. So disgusted to see her son in the arms of another boy. He'd never heard harsher words from her mouth. 

Eddie remembered the screaming, begging his mother to let the boy go. That it wasn't the other boy's fault. He remembered watching the only person who'd ever genuinely loved him get thrown out of his front door. 

He remembered the look on Richie's face as he watched that door slam shut. The fear, but the fear wasn't for himself. It was for Eddie. 

He remembered the red mark on his cheek. He remembered the bruising on his arm. He remembered being dragged kicking and screaming to his room. He was faster than his mother, sure. But he was no match for her strength. He remembered being locked inside. He remembered crying. 

He remembered crying and tearing his hair out from pure stress. He'd pulled and banged on his door until he couldn't anymore. He sank down against the door, defeated. And he stayed that way until early morning. The time he would usually wake up for school. 

Eddie heard the click of the lock and lifted his head drowsily to look at the doorknob as it was twisted. He hadn't gotten much sleep that night. He had only sat and waited by the door. He felt the weight of the door leave his side. He looked up to see the face of his distraught and disgusted mother. 

"Eddie, we have to talk. Now. You aren't going to school today.  Or this week for that matter. You're sick, Eddie." 

Eddie only stared blanky. He had no words. No emotions. His life was over as he knew it. He felt empty. 

"You aren't leaving this house until you're cured of..this! No son of mine is...is a f*g! What would your father say?!" 

There was a beat of tense silence that rang through Eddie's prison. 

Eddie vaguely felt himself being pulled to his feet. He felt his mother's hand on his forehead. He tried to move his head back and pushed her hand away. The grip on his arm tightened. He saw the look in his mother's eyes. So he complied. 

"You're sick, Eddie. You're burning up. And look at you! You're a mess! It's because of him. I know it is. I know you would never intentionally hurt me like this. I have half a mind to call his mother right now just to-" 

"No! No- Mommy please don't. Just leave him be- it's not his fault. It's mine. I'm sick, not him! Please, I'll do whatever you say, I'll be better-" 

His mother's face softened. Eddie knew that look. God, he hated that look.  

"There's my good boy. We'll make you better, Eddie bear. You'll feel so much better." 

Eddie of course knew Mr. and Mrs. Tozier would be nothing but supportive of their son. But that was not the way he wanted them to find out. Richie didn't deserve that. He deserved to do it on his own when he was ready. 

Before he knew it he was tucked into his bed. Before he could even think of a jail break, he heard the click of the lock on his bedroom door. 

So Eddie cried, laying in the bed he'd shared with Richie just hours before. 

-  

So, I hate the prologue sorry it's so sad haha. It get's better I swear, this is just the background for the  plot