She's so small, so fragile, Her frame is disproportional, unbalanced, clunky, kind of. She walks in quick little steps, striding forward like a soldier, weaving through the crowd, staring forward, Or sometimes her steps are slow and she wanders down the stairwell with melodies on her lips and the sun shines through the window and warms her face and her neck and the sunlight settles into her hair and weaves between every strand until underneath the clip there are fibres of gold and brown and white and silver and sometimes even red. Sometimes, it almost seems like they could fly free.
She clothes herself carefully, wearing loose shirts with high collars and jeans from the boy's department, just so it doesn't reveal anything. She wears so much clack and dark blue that she feels like a shadow, sometimes, waiting for the bus ina grey and black world, nothing more than a silhouette, intangible. Maybe people think she's sad, or boring, or sulky, or emo of edgy. She's just trying to hide. From something.
She's that girl who can live on just an apple every day. It's so easy for her to skip a meal, working or reading or knitting or simply sitting there watching the clouds float by, daydreaming, in a world miles and miles away she doesn't even notice the hunger anymore. And she's scared of starving so at home she eats a second lunch, a second dinner, trying to save herself from becoming the model with the flat stomach and the thigh gap, forcing herself to put food in her body, counting calories and watching her weight for the wrong reasons, looking in the mirror and trying to make her cheekbones and knuckles disappear, fending for herself meal by meal.
But it doesn't work, she walks and walks and ends up in class trying to concentrate on the lectures, the sun hides from her, her shoulders and hips still jut out awkwardly under the black clothes, people recognize her on the bus, and she's still so thin and so light. She carries that big heavy bag with her all the time, everywhere, like she's on her period but really, she's just scared that if you take away the weight on her shoulders, she'll float away.
