Shape of You (+18)

Chapter Twenty-One

▬▬▬▬ Marley's POV ▬▬▬▬

This time, when we settled down in the living room, I sat next to him on the couch, turning so my body fully faced his. Biting my lip nervously, my eyes averted his and instead wandered the room, ironically finding the photo albums I'd gotten from Grams' a little while ago resting on a side table by the window.

Just the sight of them had me wanting to recoil and forget I ever even thought of telling Joel this, but then the memory of him and Everly laughing at the diner resurfaced in my mind, both of them sharing a meal with the most important person to them, and I felt the urge to comfort him—to give him something that would help him see that while his fears were valid, the odds in this custody battle had to be in his favor. Any judge that's verdict would cost that young girl the safe haven only he could provide her was someone that's morals and integrity were ultimately questionable and needed to be stripped of all their judicial power.

This could help him. Just tell him.

"When I was eleven, I..." I started to say, but when we made eye contact and he held my gaze, I felt exposed.

Too exposed.

I needed to reel back the reins and regain some control because sharing something this deep so openly was moving too fast for me. Our relationship was still so uncertain, and this part of my past was too private to share with him...but I still felt convicted to tell him it, at least part of it, so that he'd get the gist of my story and possibly gain some perspective that he hadn't noticed before.

So, I altered the narrative enough that I felt comfortable continuing.

"I...I knew a girl who lost both her parents in a car accident," I shared, avoiding his eyes as I told him something so personal, under the guise of it being someone else's story.

I wasn't as at peace with the loss of my parents as I knew he was with the loss of his father, and I already felt my nose getting stuffy from emotions, but I did my best to hide it.

"Even though that was many years ago, I still remember her telling me about
all the visits social workers made when they put her in the care of her grandmother.

She was in her sixties by then, and on quite a bit of medication for her health. She had the girl's mother late in life and the state was concerned that she may not be the best option to be the girl's guardian, but my friend didn't have any other family. It was either her or foster care."

Thinking back to that time wasn't easy, especially when I never really found a way to cope with things, with my whole world being ripped from me so suddenly, so I tried my best to wrap things up and get to the point before my emotions told on myself. Like I said, Joel was a very perceptive man, and it wouldn't take many cracks in my composure for him to pick up on the truth I wasn't saying.

"To make a long story short, if it hadn't been for friends the grandmother had, neighbors and even people from her church, well...things wouldn't have gone as well for the girl as they did. The community of support around her ultimately is what convinced the state that she was already with the best person left to raise her, and they knew that if the woman needed help, she had plenty of people ready to give it. She wasn't alone, even though it looked that way at first."

I was surprised when Joel pulled me closer to him, until I was practically sitting on his lap, but I didn't fight it because I could see in his eyes that things were making sense to him, that there was strength in numbers, and that the numbers were on his side. I also didn't think he had any clue how personal the things I was telling him were, so I didn't feel a need to run or hide. Missing the feel of him against me may have had a little something to do with it as well.