Short Stories

A Penny For Your Thoughts

The blue light under the door woke me. It was this pulsing blue light, gentle and soft, under the door. At first I thought it was the TV, then I realised that I was in the guest room: far from the TV. Annie made sure I wouldn't watch the TV and choked up bigger cable bills. She had taken the main room.

It can't be anything but the TV on mute. What else would glow blue in the middle of the night? I stepped out of bed, half-stumbling over a pile of clothes by the door. You really had nowhere to put things when you lived in a 24' square room with no adjoining toilet. Speaking of which, I needed to be in now.

I yanked open the door, not because I wanted to spite her, but I knew the hinges were oiled. I did them myself just last week. The blue light came from a phone by the door. Annie must had placed it in the middle of the doorway deliberately because the last time I checked it was in the corner, so that I wouldn't trip over it and crush my toe.

Nokia, you see. Not iPhone or one of those feckblets.

Picking it up quite gingerly (you never know if your thumbprint could set off a bomb: the engineers nowadays are getting reckless and Annie was exactly one such engineer), I pressed a button.

The screen showed me and Annie in bed, drinking wine, which mostly dribbled onto the sheets. I remember I was holding the phone in my hand and... fingering her quite lovingly as she squirmed under my touch.

Now those were the days, when our... no. Her and my libido weren't as diminished. We enjoyed sex to the fullest, and also, wine and all the pleasures we could share in holy matrimony. Night was my favourite part of the day with her.

Now...

Oh what the heck, I'll delete this pic in the morning.

Feeling surprisingly thirsty after the little head-back, I sauntered (but most probably shuffled, in my old man pyjamas) to the kitchen. The fridge was stock full with beer: one of the last things in life we... Annie and I agreed on. Popping the head of one was tiring, and I thought to myself: funny why the strength we all need is wasted earlier on in life. I could use some can opening strength now. Or maybe just a little push in that bar's direction. So many beers I don't have to open a can to get to and so many more women that don't need nagging to have sex with.

A little moaning sound pulled me back to reality. Damn, there goes that.

I pushed myself off the fridge's door to investigate in my old man pyjamas. From Annie's room...

No. I'm just imagining. The moan happened again. From the living room, maybe. I hurried there: the moaning got a little louder and more frequent. Somehow, it sounded in between a lover's cry and a yowling cat, but right now, it was either a naked woman who fell from the sky standing in the living room or a pretty feline who got all its hair burned off on the baker's oven and managed to climb to the 18th floor.

The cold air hit me like a ton of bricks as I rounded the corner. The balcony sliding glass door was open. I could see over the railing, to the plethora of housing estates down there. The apartment was one of the only low-cost living quarters around here; and even that was eating money out of my pocket, since she arranged for me to pay the rent.

The next big surprise was Annie, sitting on the couch with a woolly blanket wrapped around her. The dark blue one, with constellations all over them, the one I gave to her for...

Snap out of it big man. Ask her what she's doing, be a gentleman for once then go back to sleep. Okeydokey. Number one.

"Hey."

Her head snapped around 180 degrees to face me and the moaning stopped. We stared at each other, motionless, for a bit longer than a minute.

"Hey," I repeated quietly, in case she thought I'd take her blanket away, "What are you doing so late at night? You should be asleep."

"I couldn't sleep." Her voice was gravelly, as if she hadn't used it in days. Not true. We shouted at each other just last dinner. From different rooms.

"Well, you should. Penny for your thoughts." I cocked my head briefly to one side, "Are you hurt? I heard you moaning."

"Why the heck do you care?"

I felt my hackles rise, "For goodness sake, Annie. I'm not fucking with you! I'm just trying to be nice for once, 'cause isn't that what you want?"

"Parker, please don't. I don't want to fight. Not now." Her face looked so downtrodden I felt bad for shouting at her. I went over to her and hugged her through the blanket covering her like a cocoon. 12 years of marriage constituted at least an impromptu hug, "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." She sighed and looked away from me.

"So... you burned your hand on the stove or something?" The wind whipped our hair around and should have carried our voices away too, but they managed to stay in the room.

"No. I was... em... masturba... You know."

I drew back to look at her. She wasn't wearing those librarian glasses I hated because they (previously) got in the way of looking at her. Even though she turned away in embarrassment, I could feel the waves of irritation at her sexual abstinence since we agreed to split our worldly belongings into halves. One for you, one for me...

She fidgeted, "I want to go to sleep now. See you in the morning."

Exactly. See me in the morning, when there would be more paperwork to be done and more frantic discussions about who should get what.

She shocked me and herself by leaning in to kiss me on my left cheek. Because it was probably the last sort of affection I'd get from her, I held my peace. A little while later, I realised her face was too close for too long.

"Please." Her voice was low, "Please, Parker. One more time." Her voice broke at the end of the sentence. It wasn't just her, though. I could feel my blood rushing south and pulled my lips in.

"Don't judge me." I stood up and put an arm where her shoulder should be and guided her to the bedroom. Her bedroom. Her eyes glassed over by the time I stepped over the threshold.

"Parker, Park—" she gulped, "No, I'm scared."

"No. Let's just do this. You need it." When I saw she didn't disagree, I set her down on the edge of the bed, just like the first time we ever did it. She lifted her eyes to meet mine, "I want to see you."

Carefully, with my gaze still trained on her, I lifted the wife beater over my head and dropped it to the floor at her feet, "Your turn."

She pushed the entire blanket off her shoulders, and I gasped quietly. I hadn't seen her naked in a few years, but she was as firm as ever. Still...

Beautiful. I laid her on the bed. Slowly, gently - she never did like a rough night.

"What are you thinking about?"

I never noticed it nowadays, but her voice was still as angelic as ever.

"Nothing... Nothing."