love and the remaking

I, Calum

     I, Calum, am once more strapped onto a surgical bed, staring at the white ceiling. This time was different than before. When I heard the squeaking wheels of these old beds accompanied by the half a dozen feet, I felt my stomach drop. I can be almost certain that that was my Mavri. Marvi has not been to see the remaker before; his father had, but not him. I have, but not Mavri. He had said not to love him. He had said that I should go on with my life. Forget him and live my life. I can't forget, I won't forget. I don't want to forget.

     There is one thing that Mavri did not know about me: I have gone through this process before, many times. He does not know my previous names and he does not know the past lives I have lived. I have lived most all of them looking for him. He is my fool. I know that is what they'll call him: the fool. Like his mother, he has fallen victim, victim to being the fool. The idea that being the Fool of the generation is a bad thing is slightly funny. I would think that it would be quite fun, you get to act like the free beings that we learned about In school, those that lived before the war, but you don't have to constant pain of having your identity changed every couple of years like I do, like the 'junky' does.

     What makes me one of the rare few is none of these drugs can actively take out my memories; no amount of convincing will make me a different person. When I say "I will always love Mavri," I will always love Mavri. That is why I will be waiting when they release him.

    I like being a human; it's like a rarity in today's world. Being an individual is. What makes my life fun is that I get to be human before I die. Unlike the others.

It's fun to break rules until you have someone worth being consistent for