𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 ➪ 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙝𝙮𝙪𝙘𝙠

6

his heart was palpitating.

had he done something wrong? last time mark had checked, everything was perfectly fine between them.

he understood that everyone had bad days, but he didn't expect for it to turn on him. bad days meant being there for donghyuck and hearing his problems, was it not? his way of texting and leaving mark on seen manifested that he wanted to be alone.

with a clouded mind and overwhelming waves in his chest, mark pressed the call button anyways. this made him more anxious than anything else before. fear settled in because he was afraid of the outcome. it could be the simplest thing, yet also the worst thing. he hadn't bothered to count the amount of times the phone rang. all mark knew was that it was too long to be comforting.

"i said i can't call." donghyuck's voice wavered and sounded scratchy. he was crying. mark jerked his head down and all the screen showed was the ceiling.

"s-sunshine, what ha-happened." mark cursed himself internally. he didn't want to stutter in front of donghyuck. it was such a huge insecurity to him.

"i said i'm not feeling well," donghyuck's voice raised higher. "i told you i can't call, i'm tired and i don't have time for you right now!" sniffles were heard across the line and mark regretted calling at all.

"i'm s-sorry."

"i don't care! i'm tired, i'm so tired."

"of what? what ha-happened, sunshine?"

"i'm tired of not being with you," his lover let out a quiet sob before ending the call midway.

mark stared blankly at his phone, his emotions getting the best of him as his eyes welled up with tears. a tight ball-like feeling formed in his throat. he felt sorry for not being able to be there and couldn't help but blame himself for everything. there wasn't much he could do, he could wait it out with patience and hope for the best. but there wouldn't be any guarantee that it would ever be enough. he felt sick to the stomach. his fingers started to tremble and mark knew things would end on a bad note.

the tears fell one by one, a feeble cry leaving his mouth. a poor attempt at swallowing away the pain was of no use. he laid down and threw the blanket over his head. mark could feel his quickened heartbeat in his fingers, the streams flowing down his cheeks and onto the pillow. he cried silently, sniffles being heard here and there.

not being with donghyuck was beyond painful. a thin piece of metal wasn't enough for the want and need of his presence. he yearned for more than what he could have and knew that the yearning wouldn't end no matter what the circumstances. with a heavy heart, mark shut his eyes tight and breathed.

i love you, i love you, i'm sorry, i love you.

and for the first time in a long time, mark fell asleep early.