Dear Stranger

Letter 2

Dear Stranger,

Have you ever felt as though you were going to die? Have you ever felt like you were walking on the edge? Like in a split second you could fall into the void? I can tell you now that being close to the end isn't like that at all. I should know. After all I am going to die soon. Very soon.

It was only two weeks after you left that I was told that I had it. Only six months later that I was told that the treatments weren't working and I had only thirteen months to live. That was nine months ago and my clock had long been ticking down the minutes till I'll depart.

You know if you've ever been sat next too cream walls in a doctors office surrounded by the eerie silence that waiting brings that, the feeling of not knowing what the tests will say is terrifying. It's like walking out of an exam hall not knowing how well you have done on your test or getting a phone call telling you wether you have got that job you worked so hard for. Except at the same time it's not like that at all. There is no good out come or possible feeling of elation, only what you already have or the worst thing you could imagine in the moment. What's scary about it is that you can't do anything to stop it. You can only hope.

Recently, I have found hope is not always enough. You can wish for it's all just to stop. You can wish for time to slow down or stop altogether. You can always wish. Wishing doesn't change anything. Constantly hoping and wishing for change doesn't do anything but cause you too lose moments. Moments are always dear when your life is a time bomb loaded with explosives and a decreasing seconds left until activation.

There is no sudden adrenaline rush to dieing. Weight and loss of who you are can be found nothing else. If you find yourself where I am don't wish for anything just live all you can in those last few moments.

From Someone.