the text and the dream

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Your P.O.V
I wrote in the text I was to shy to send him:
Hey uhm.. I just want you to know that you're fucking AWESOME 😍 you're just my second me and you're so fucking Beautiful... :3 you're talented and just AWESOME and I would die for you... 🤪 Sometimes I fall asleep with the thought that I fall asleep in your arms while watching Netflix and it's just awesome I think I have a crush on you and I just wanted to say: I love you.
He asked me today to call again but I said I don't have time... I just didn't want him to cry... I cried because I had a crush on someone Beautiful, awesome, goregous, attractive and so on boy but I don't think he likes me like that too... And after that something like "why would he like me, I'm a piece of shit, an ugly, untalented, fat, Dumb, childish, psychopathic piece of shit who sounds like a dying rat... so I cried more... I screenshotted his profile pic and drew a heart on it because I had such a huge crush on him but otherwise why should he like meh? Like I'm a freak...
(Favorite/YouTuber) is streaming... I'll watch his stream to calm down... I cried and cried and cried until I almost didn't get enough air... His funny jokes while his streams made me calm down a bit until I saw a knife... NO I thought and tried to look away... But otherwise... I took the knife and cut myself until it bled and liked the blood and thought: yay blood :3. Okay I'm really a psycho... I laughed because the streamer was that funny xD he just calmed me so I threw the knife in the wall and enjoyed the stream... But at some point I switched off the stream and I went to bed and slept 3 hours... I fell asleep with a smile because I thought of me and Vince cuddling and watching TV and then kissing, starting making out and then falling asleep in his arms and that was my dream about Actually xD. I dreamed about me and Vince meeting each other for the first time. His parents greeted me, I came in and we both headed to his room. He switched on the TV and opened YouTube. We watched some YouTube until he asked:
(Y/N)?
Me: yah? *Turns to him*
Vince: *kisses you*
Vince: I'm sorry I just had to do that... I just had feelings for ya and... Idk...
Me: I...
Vince: if you feel uncomfortable...
He was interrupted by me kissing him and saying: no... I love you
He started kissing me and we made out. After that we continued watching YouTube and I fell asleep In his arms. One time I woke up but I didn't open my eyes, I kept my eyes closed and Vince kisses me on my forhead and whispered: I'll always make sure to keep you safe

But then I woke up and I was disappointed because it was all just a dream... I wished it was real... I decided to read the messages from yesterday with Vince again and think about all that what we talked when we called... I put in my WhatsApp story "do you know, how great it feels when there is a person who likes you when everyone hates you?"

And when I wouldn't have written that in my WhatsApp story, my happiest day in my life would never have happened

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