Stuck

Chapter One

Darkness fills my room as I stir in bed, pushing the covers on and off my body. My eyes have yet to stay closed for the entire night and I can feel sleep deprivation eat away at my brain. But, with three months gone in such a short amount of time, I can’t do anything but think over what I’m going to do, what I’m going to say. And one name has been constantly in my head since last week when Mr. and Mrs. Moore set up a welcome banner on their lawn. Lukas Moore is coming back today.

My alarm clock reads six and I make a split decision. I jump out of bed, switch on my lampshade, and strip off my pajamas and replace them with yoga pants and an old James Taylor T-shirt. I snatch up my Nike workout shoes and slip them on as I put my hair in a high ponytail. I take my iPod off my nightstand and jog down the stairs and out the door with a jacket in hand.

Inhaling the cool temperature that the beginning of winter has brought our small town, I put my earphones in and hit shuffle on my iPod. The song Gives You Hell by All-American Rejects blasts into my ears as I start my morning workout with a slow-paced jog. I ignore the Moore household across the street and the gray BMW parked in the driveway. The last thing I need is to think more about Lukas and his last minute return home.

Jogging past many houses, I take notice of the entrance to our neighborhood running trail known as Woodstone Creek. Looking at my surroundings, I turn right into the entrance noticing the tall evergreens sprinkled in snow and icy rocks making my running more unbalanced than I am appreciating. Finally, after changing my speed and direction multiple times, I come to a halt at a cliff overlooking my small town, estimated to be about 20 miles away from the roads. I can smell the hint of pine in the air as I breathe in the fresh oxygen. It smells like peace and tranquility but most of all, it feels like home.

I walk out farther to the edge of the cliff and look out to see all the buildings from my childhood. Over to the far right is a street known as Buckner, a place where bridal shops, salons, nail salons and shops built specifically for girls to go crazy over seek comfort in. And there, right in the middle of my view, I see the people of our town making their way through the stores such as Manny’s Hardware, Toys-R-Us, Best Buy, and so many more. Even this early in the morning, our town manages to be just as busy as any other time in the day.

I take comfort in watching people explore parts of the town, whether they know the area by heart or are new and ready for an adventure. The countless stores will be filled with many of my friends in a few hours, trying to make as much money as possible for post-Christmas shopping, a tradition every high schooler acknowledges and takes part in every year.

I kneel down and pick up some of the cold, icy snow lying on the ground. It melts instantly, sensing the warmth from my hand, and my finger tips burn slightly. I smile down at the puddle of melted snow, not exactly sure what to do next.

But then I hear him. In the middle of the silence that comes between one song and another, I hear the crunch of fallen leaves and packed snow behind me. Still kneeling, I turn my head to meet a pair of brown eyes; brown eyes that held so much pain that it is hard to look into them without crying. But I somehow manage to stand up and keep a straight face, swallowing the tears eager to flow as I pull my earphones out.

“Jess,” calm suddenly surrounds me as I hear his deep vocals speak with so much familiarity. It breaks my heart to listen to him and know what he did to me. It breaks my heart to even see him, but I hide as best as I can behind the face of calm and tranquility that I’ve mastered over the years.

“Lukas,” I nod in acknowledgement and pivot to face the town once more. Maybe its wishful thinking, but he knows how I get when I’m upset. Surely he’ll take a hint.

“I don’t mean to upset you but… can I take you to coffee? You know, to talk about things?”

“We are here. I don’t see the point in waiting. So let’s have our little talk. Go ahead. Start us off.”