Pain~ Stenbrough

Bill..?

I start the water. We got back a little bit ago, and Bill had to get mud on me. I let it go and decided to get a shower. Once the water heated up, I strip off the muddy clothes and step in, feeling a sense of comfort from the warm water.

As im washing the mud out of my hair, I let my mind wander. But it doesn't wander in a direction i want it to. I start to think about tomorrow. I start to think about how Bill will probably get drunk..

I start to think about him bringing a girl here.

Id say that its bullshit, but Bill is the horny-drunk type. How would Eddie react if Richie brought a girl back to his place?

Richie wouldn't do it, no matter how drunk he was. Bill however, im not sure. He never drinks much, so his tolerance with alcohol is very small.

But its only two hours. Richie could return him easily.

Right?

I sigh and rinse my hair (he washed himself while he was thinking). I then turn off the shower and pull the curtain back, grabbing my towel and wrapping it around my waist.

I look in the mirror. Why would Bill like me? Im a fucking mess, i have no good qualities. I get dressed as my mind keeps going.  As i pul my shirt on and reach for the door, a certain thought stops me:

Why did my parents want me to live?

I could've stayed in that car and gone with them. I could've been a good son. But i left like a fucking coward.

Tears start rolling down my face as i back away from the half open door. Crying silently, i sit on the toilet seat and cover my face, trying not to get Bill's attention.

I was able to stay for about 5 minutes before Bill came upstairs and saw me. He kneeled down by were i was sat and put a hand on my side, "Stan? B-baby what's wrong..?" I look up and shrug.

Bill sighs, "Stan.. Come on.." I look back down, "Just...thought too much.." Bill tilts his head, "What were you thinking about?" I shrug, "Nothing important.." Bill nods, "Okay.. Tell me when you're ready.. Also come to bed soon." I nod, "Yeah.. See you there."

He nods and stands up, walking out. I grab a wash cloth and wash my face before walking to my parents room (where we sleep now) and crawling into the bed. Bill smiles and turns to me, putting an arm around me.

I smile and wrap my arms around him. With Bill i feel safe. I feel like nothing in this whole world can hurt me. I feel wanted, hell maybe even NEEDED.

*time skip (sorry i got lazy :3)

I rub my eyes before sitting up and opening them. I look over and notice that Bill isn't here. I shrug and get up, walking downstairs. Bill is on the couch. I smile, "Hey Bill."

No response.

I sigh lightly, maybe he's just in a bad mood? I walk into the kitchen and grab a granola bar from the pantry. Im not too hungry.

When im finished, i throw the wrapper away and go upstairs to get dressed. I put on some beige shorts and a light blue polo. I walk downstairs to see that Bill isn't on the couch anymore. He might be in the bathroom.

I shrug and grab my phone from the kitchen table. I text Eddie:

S: Hey, you still heading over today?

E: I will in about an hour. Richie's being needy and won't let me get up.

S: Lmao okay.

I put my phone in my back pocket and turn my head just as Bill walks back into the living room. He gets on his phone and stands behind the couch.

I tilt my head and look at Bill, "Are....are you still going with Richie?" Bill sighed, "Yeah.. Leave me alone." Bill then walked out the door.

He left me to wonder:

Why is he mad at me?

What did i do?

Is he gonna leave me?

Will he come back?