[C] • arts •

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Mrs. Kim slowly brought me inside the house. She asked me to sit while she took drinks for us. I kept looking at the wall, as it's filled with my painting. "Drink this, it will make you feel fresh" Mrs. Kim tried to make me smile, but it didn't work for me at the moment.

"Hurm, what would you like to eat? Jimin-ie?". I ignored her question and still looking at the paintings. "Jimin-ah, is there something-" I cut her words. "When is Mr. Kim return home?". "Ah, around 7 p.m. He always home before dinner" She smiled at me. I stood up from the sofa and went upstairs. I hesitated to enter Jihoon's old room, I twisted the knob.

I laid on his bed, with feeling uneasy. I frustrated that my little brother had been through an awful life. At least when he's with me, he managed to crack a smile on his face. I covered my face with regretness. If only I tell him earlier..

"Jimin-shii, dinner's ready" A knock can be heard on the door. I went downstairs and sat on the dining table. Finally, I met my father. The one who visited my Mom's funeral. "How are you feeling today, Jimin-ie?" He asked while smiling at me. I remained silent. After Mrs. Kim done serving for us, they started to dig in on their food, except me. I just watched them eating.

"What's wrong, Jimin-ah? Do you want something else?" Mrs. Kim worried about me. "Stop pretending to be nice". They both startled with my words. "You know Jihoon doesn't have any friend in school. How could you let him go somewhere else easily?" I stared at her. "Jimin-ah, let's not talk about this-" Dad tried to stop me. "You,..You could've tell me that I'm your daughter. I can meet him easily". He then dropped his chopsticks down.

"You both eating well? While you just lost your son in few days?". "Jimin-ah,..please" Dad kept looking down. "Guilty? Regret? It's useless now. I jist lost my brother". "Stop! You think we're not sad?! We're trying to be a good parent-" He suddenly cried out. Feeling sad about his son. I can't kept up with them so I stood up from the chair, I was about to walk upstairs but Dad called me. I turned my back to see him.

He kneeled down on the floor "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being a bad father. Please forgive me" He said while his tears fell down on his cheeks. His second-wife also kneeled down beside him. "Jimin-ah, I'm really sorry. I'm really regret for not treating him well. Forgive me please". All I heard in a silent room was their sobbing.

I looked to my forward and went upstairs to Jihoon's old room. I sat down on table. "What should I do, Jihoon-ah.." I ruffled my hair in mess. "Did I fuck up things now?" I put my head on the table. "I need the answer, please" I then decided to close my eyes.

I opened my eyes to see him in front of me again. "I don't like the way you treated them" Jihoon sat beside me. "Didn't they treat you the same way I did?". He shaked his head "Whether they care or not about me, I never had an intention to get any revenge on them" Jihoon looked away. "Please, treat them well and take care of them for me" He stood up and was about to leave "There, I already gave you the answer". As the light became brighter, I closed my eyes.

I opened my eyes, my arms became numb. I stretched my body, walked to the bathroom to wash my face. Then, I went downstairs. I saw Mrs. Kim was preparing breakfast for Dad. I quietly sat on the chair. "Oh?! Jimin-ah!" Mrs. Kim quickly served the strawberry breads on the table.

"Hurm,..I'm- I'm hungry. Is there anything to eat other than this?" I said it awkwardly to her. She became excited to please me, she checked the fridge and made something for me in few minutes. I thanked her before digged into the food. "Are you a chef? This is so delicious" I praised her. Mrs. Kim laughed happily.

"What's up with a big laughter-" Dad didn't finish his words after he saw me. "Would you like to taste this? She made it for me" I offered to him. "I've taste her cooking meal in years. Does it make you regret for not eating her dinner yesterday?" He looked at me. "Yes, I wish I could turn back the time". They both laughed at me. "Aww, I'll make a delicious meal for the dinner tonight. Just wait for it!" Mrs. Kim said in excitement.

Dad asked me to live with them, so that the house didn't felt so lonely. I accompanied Mrs. Kim at the living room, while she was reading a book, I took out my sketchbook, staring at the wall since I didn't know what to draw. "Jimin-ie? What are you looking at?". I quickly shaked my head at her, she grinned at me. "Hurm, I know it's a hard situation right now but you'll get use to it in few days". "Thank you. What would you like me to call you?". She startled with my question "Whatever you call me, I'm okay with it".

"Mother, I'll call you like how Jihoon used to call you". She suddenly broke into tears, I immediately went to hug her. "I miss him, Jimin-ah. I really miss him. If only I didn't let him,.." She cried on my shoulder. I just pat her back. Suddenly, I saw the painting moved, I let go of the hug and watched the painting carefully while Mother was crying. It really is moving.

Then, when I looked at my sketchbook, 'Tell her that I'm fine here. Don't think that I'm dying. I'm still alive. I'll be always by her side". I'm getting goosebumps by reading what's written on the sketchbook. I looked at Mother, I went closed to her again "Mother, Jihoon know that you're sad but he didn't happy to see you like this. Don't consider him as dead, he's still alive". Mother finally wiped her tears away and looked at me.

"Is he really said that? How did you know?". "I- I met him in my dream for few times". "You're so lucky,..I want to see him too" She looked down. "You will meet him one day" I held her hands.

×1 Month Later×

Dad was worried about me, I said to him that I'm okay, but then he offered me to have a vacation in Hawaii. Not gonna lie, I was very shocked. "A-Are you being serious right now?!". He nodded his head at me. I don't know if I'm suppose to be happy or sad to leave them. "We just want to do our best here to take care of your heart" Mother smiled at me.

So, I packed my stuffs that night since they already book the ticket for tomorrow. It's so fast that I felt I'm not ready just yet. Mother came into my room, to see if I need help, I shaked my head at her but I want her to stay in the room. We talked a lot before she went to sleep. Finally, I landed on my bed, I checked my lists and went for bed.

×The Next Day×

I hugged my parents for the last time before getting into my flight. "Be careful. Don't hurt yourself, okay?" Mother kissed my forehead. "If you need anything, just text me" Dad pat my back. I nodded my head at them with feeling nervous. Slowly I went away and waved at them.

"Your ticket and passport, please". I gave it to the stewardess. After she has checked it, I was allowed to enter the flight. I felt very nervous because this is my first time. As the flight started to fly over the sky, I looked outside the window, it did looked scary because of the height but it's also pretty. Seeing the clouds flouting around was amazing. I kept filming them.