Walking through the rain

The long lost memory

Samantha's Pov

After Kimberly left, I felt sad that I didn't tell her. I sit on my bed and look at the pictures in the photo album, it brings back memories, I remember the first time I met my husband Richard.

Flashback 15 years ago

I met him when I was training to be a nurse, I went along for a house call with the doctor, he was gonna check an old man under house care, we get to the house and that's when I saw Richard for the first time, he was the old mans grandson. He was sweeping the floor as I was checking the old mans blood pressure, he suddenly says "my chest has been hurting all day", as I turn around he suddenly drops to the floor. The doctor says "he's having a heart attack we need to get him to the hospital right now!" His Mom said she would look after her father so we could bring him to the hospital. We get him in the back seat, I hold him in my arms all the way to the hospital comforting him saying "it's gonna be ok, you have to strong".

We get to the hospital, from there I let the doctors do their thing because I was a 19 year old trainee nurse. I went to visit him after a couple hours, his whole family was there so I was gonna give them some privacy but I heard Richard say "wait don't go, I want to thank you, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be alive right now", I blush and say "it was all the doctors who saved you", he nods his head "no you saved me you kept me going in the back of that car you gave me the will to survive". After a few months we started dating, a year passes then we get married, 9 months later we have a beautiful daughter named Jessica.

My daughter was only three when that tragic day came. I remember it like it was yesterday, it was a sunny day out, we were having a bbq at are house, everything was fine, my daughter Jessica said to me "mommy I'm hungry", I said to her "go get some food over there from daddy", she runs over  and grabs some food, Richard comes over and talks with me and my friends as Jessica ate with her friends. A couple of minutes pass and I see Jessica kinda pale, I ask her "what's wrong sweety?" She could barely answer "I don't know mommy I can hardly breath", suddenly she passes out and gets kinda cold, I scream "call 911 now!" When the ambulance arrives it was to late she was gone, the doctor said the cause of death was that she was allergic to some of the spices in the food. Me and Richard were heart broken we cried every day for a week strait, one day he came to the room and said "it's all my fault if I wouldn't of put those fucking spices on that food this wouldn't of have happened", I hold Richard's hand and say "don't blame yourself, you didn't know, just keep on going Rich, I know it's gonna be hard but we both can't blame are selves". He gets up and says "that's easy for you to say", then just leaves the room. A week later Richard couldn't take the pain anymore, I found him on the bathroom floor face down with a empty pill bottle in his hand, he overdosed on prescription pills.

As for me it wasn't easy going though all that, I started drinking heavily and I needed to take anti depressant pills, I almost overdosed too, the doctor told me "Samantha look at yourself, if you keep this up your gonna self destruct and your gonna lose everything", I say to him cold hearted "I already have lost every thing, I don't have nothing else to live for!!" He yells "that's not true, you haven't lost faith in living, I can see it in your eyes, your not gone, your just lost, remember it isn't over till you say it's over!!" At that point I start sobbing "your right", he rubs my shoulder "I'm gonna get you some help ok" I nod "ok thank you". After a hard up hill battle and a year of rehab I finally got my old self back, it still was hard but I kept on surviving. Then a few years later I meet Kimberly and adopted her.

Present day

Kimberly reminds me so much of Jessica, Kimberly is a blessing in my life she is what keeps me going everyday, she is the engine of my my train, she is the sun of my rainy days, she is more than my daughter she is my best friend, my soul, my heart, she is the everything that I don't want to lose.