Okay, you guys convinced me! Well... Johnny did! XD
Okay so you asked for it! DIARY TIME!
Just please don't call me a faker?
Oct. 24, 2012
I think I should tell you a little deeper crap!
Okay so, how do I begin..?
Well first off I live in a small town in Canada.
I have 'problems' with drawing on myself.
I'm hating on Kirin for what she has done and is doing to Johnny. He really does not deserve that. Kirins like the alcohol!
I still have not texted Madison...
I am slightly hating on myself...
Wow, just saying that makes it a reality and it hurts... Wow...
YA'LL should listen to Don't Jump by Tokio Hotel... I heard it thanks to a really awesome friend and listened to it again recently and it destroyed me! The last lyric in the song is 'I jump for you.' Can you even imagine hearing that?
I have to admit crying myself to sleep at night sucks.
But I'm done with this 'deeper crap' and I'll acctually start now.
Today I woke up and didn't want to go to school... But I did, as soon as I got there I begged my mom to come pick me up... She never did..
I told my mom what Madison had said and she said I was stronger then that and she would not come to get me.
I went through the day not focusing and trying to act normal. But, being me, at the end of the day I was all found out. They knew everything.
Yesterday, Carson saw my braclets and out of nowhere asked if I cut. It hurt since I don't.
I'll admit a few things I do, did, or have done.
-Bit my lip until it bled
-Scratched myself (not until it bled)
-Dug my nails into myself
-Became numb
I have not been numb for two years. But, I think I need to adapt that again.
I have not scratched myself for a year and a half.
I bit yesterday.
I dug my nails into my palm, thumb, and arm today.
It hurts me to do this to me... But I guess I do anyway.
Okay. I'll make a deal.. If I get 3 more reads then done. I will text Madison.
Scratch that. I will do it now..
Okay this is what I sent: "I wrote a 'book' with u in it. Its already published and copy writed i dont want to talk i just thought i should tell u."
Okay she litterally just texted back: "Alright..."
Its okay, she can be as mad as she wants.
But, hey! Johnny! My mom is switching internet providers so I can skype you and text you forever!! XD
Okay, I'm going to go now but I think I will talk to Madison....
I don't know!
Love you!
Merissa-Storm
