Karmagisa Oneshots

Double Date Version 1 (Homophobic Kayano)

TECHNICALLY A LIME, BUT ALSO NOT REALLY.
ALSO BAD LANGUAGE AND VERY OFFENSIVE INSULTS UP AHEAD.
ALSO, A LOT OF KAYANO HATING.
ALSO I MEAN NO OFFENCE FROM ANYTHING KAYANO SAYS. I SIMPLY HATE HER AND WANT YOU ALL TO HATE HER AS WELL AND THIS WAS THE ONLY THING MY SLEEP DEPRIVED BRAIN COULD THINK OF.
ALSO IM RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS.

Rio and Kayano were talking in hushed voices in the classroom. "Kayano, let's go over the plan again."
"Rio, this is the 10th time! I know it off by heart!"
"I don't care. So, Karma and Nagisa are usually first here. You ask Nagisa to go to a movie with you. I pop up and ask if I can come with, you say yes, then I invite Karma along too. During the date, I take us to a restaurant and we have dinner. Thus concludes the double date!"
"Rio, if you don't tell them 'date', it doesn't really count as a date."
"Shut up, they're coming."

Karma and Nagisa walked in, Nagisa limping slightly. Kayano narrows her eyes. "Is he...?"

"Karma, wait!!" Karma chuckles.
"What, are you still that slow?" Kayano grips the chair leg. He dares to mock my Nagisa?
"It's your fault, you know!" Kayano almost gasps. He hurt my Nagisa, then mocked him! I must kill him!

Karma laughs again. "You said you wanted to take the next step! Anyway, that was Friday." Karma sits on his chair. Nagisa stands next to him. "Well? Aren't you going to sit down?"
"No, my ass still hurts. You thrust too much." Karma kisses him lightly. "Sorry about that."

Kayano was gobsmacked. Ar-are they? Di-did they? Wh-what? Why what about me?
Rio glances across at her and giggles. She whispers, "sorry, sweetie, I just couldn't watch you get your hopes up. Forgive me, please?"

Nagisa and Karma suddenly stop talking. "Karma..."
"I feel it too." Karma points directly at Kayano, who gulps. "It's coming from over there."
"You don't think it's-"
"Probably." Karma grins sadistically. "We probably just yanked her heart right out of her chest and cut it into tiny pieces right in front of her."

Nagisa sighs. "You're too harsh, Karma. Kayano, come out. We know you're there."
Kayano, seething with rage, stands up, pulling Rio up by the hair as well. Karma laughs. "Rio, I thought we could trust you." He flips his switch blade out. "Guess I was wrong..."

Nagisa slapped Karma's wrist. "Karma, I'm sure she had a good reason. Let's hear her out."
Rio stutters a bit. "W-well, when I saw Kayano blushing after you, I coul..."
"I can't believe it." Kayano interrupts. "To think I was falling for you, and you were gay." She walks up to him and spits in his face. "Faggot." As she was walking away, she finds a certain teacher blocking her path.

She stands there, staring straight at a pitch-black Koro-sensei. After a few seconds, she crumples onto the ground. "Do whatever you want. But I am not changing my opinion."
"Kaede, what do you think you were doing?"

Nagisa grumbles to Karma. "This is why I said to just ignore each other outside of your house."

"Sensei, I was simply putting a homosexual into his pla-"
Koro-Sensei slaps Kayano. Hard. She goes flying across the room into the blackboard. "Go sensei!" Karma yells from the back. Nagisa covers his mouth. "Not. Now."

Koro-Sensei picks Kayano up. "Kaede. I asked you what you were doing." Kayano grits her teeth.
"I was putting a homosexual in-"
"Hey, sensei! I've got mustard and wasabi here; will that help!"
"Karma! I said no-"
"Thank you very much, Karma."
"Okay, now's fine."

Just as Karma sticks the wasabi up Kayano's nose, Karasuma walks in. "Oh, hello, Koro-Sensei, Karma, Kaya- wh-what ARE YOU DOING TO KAYANO!"
Karasuma walks up and yanks Kayano out of their reach. He lays her on the ground. "Are you alright, Kayano? What were they doing? Why?"

Rio walks towards them. "Rio, tell me what's happening!" She ignores him, opting to kick Kayano in the stomach. She starts coughing; blood. "Nakamura! What are you-"
"Homophobic piece of shit." She tells Kayano. Kayano gives a strained smile. "Better a piece of shit than homosexual-" Rio kicks her in the stomach again, effectively shutting her up.

A vein pops on Karasuma's head. "Will someone please tell me what the FUCK IS GOING ON!"
"She spat in Nagisa's face and called him a faggot." Karasuma blinked. "Is that a rude word?"

...

Nagisa face palmed, except instead of face palming, he desk palmed. "Nagisa!" Karma yelped. "Are you okay?"
"My brain hurts. I think I've got Karasuma-itus." Karma hit him on the arm. "I thought something was wrong then!"
"Something IS wrong! I came out to my best friend as gay, which technically wasn't my choice, and she comes out as fucking HOMOPHOBIC! Something is most DEFINITELY wrong, Karma." Karma pulls Nagisa in for a hug, resting his face on his chest.

"Calm down, Nagisa. I'm sure she's just... going through a hard time accepting she can't have you. I mean, she put trackers in your clothes and everything." Nagisa sat bolt upright. "The fuck?"

Karasuma breathes in heavily. "I repeat. Can someone. Please. Tell me. What the FUCK IS GOING ON!"
"I LITERALLY JUST TOLD YOU WHAT WAS GOING ON!" Rio screams in his face. Karasuma sighs.
"Okay then. Can someone please explain - KARMA PUT THE KNIFE DOWN - what is happening?"

Koro-sensei, who's face was now becoming slightly lighter, answered in that clear way only teachers can answer in. "Nakamura tricked Kaede into watching Akabane and Shiota during one of their loving moments, and now Kaede is insulting them for loving a person of the same gender."

Karasuma blinked. A look of confusion, then understanding  flitted across his face. "Ah. I understand the reactions now, but I still can't allow it. Erm... detention? And Kaede, you're coming with me. You're committing a hate crime."

Aight, four things.

First, I am so sorry for this chapter, I just wrote it down because I had no idea what to do for short stories.

Second, I mean no offence to anybody in this, whether you're part of the LGBTQ+ community or not. Unless you're homophobic, or any other type of prejudice, in which case, fuck you.

Third, I have no idea what the hate crime laws are in Japan.

Fourth, there will be a happier chapter out... sometime.