Messing With My Mind (Andy Biersack Story)

Chapter Three - Under the Big Oak Tree

Chapter Three

I didn’t hear anything from Andy over the weekend after I’d spoken my mind. I was very hard on myself about this, as I completely blamed myself for the whole thing, even though I was merely being honest with him, as he had asked me to do. For once, I just wanted Andy to know what he was doing to me. I struggled to enjoy the weekend, and just ended up attempting some difficult homework since no one was communicating with me outside school.

On Monday I was terrified and really didn’t want to go into school, but mom insisted and pretended that she actually cared about my crummy education. I reluctantly dragged myself into school, dreading every minute of it. What if I saw Andy? What if he’d told everyone what I’d said and made me sound like the biggest bitch in history? What if I’d lost him forever? Those were the sort of thoughts that went round my head on the way in.

I approached my group of friends and again, Andy was off somewhere with Eileen. As soon as I arrived everybody gave me weird looks, but none of them were unkind. They looked more concerned than judgemental and harsh. They had clearly all found out about what I’d said to Andy on Friday. Shit. It didn’t surprise me, but it was still depressing to know that all my friends most likely thought I was being completely oversensitive.

Everyone gave me extra love and hugs that morning, which I really appreciated. Yet again, Tam and Nicky dragged me over away from the group and had a private chat with me.

“As you’ve probably guessed” Tam began, “we know what you said to Andy. He told us. He’s not angry with you by the way. He just feels extremely guilty.”

“We’re all on your side, including Jinxx, Jake, Ash and CC. All of us think Andy’s been a bit of a dick, but we know he didn’t mean any harm. We kind of had to explain things to them about the situation in order for them to understand what was going on. But they kind of figured out on their own that you’ve got a crush on Andy” Nicky said sympathetically.

“Oh Jesus, my life is over” I replied, getting extremely paranoid that someone would tell Andy how I felt about him. They wouldn’t do that to me, right? They were the best and most valuable friends I could ask for after all. They were all like brothers and sisters to me, but not the irritating kind. “What do they think of me because of it?”

“They think it’s cute! They’re just scared he’s going to keep on hurting you. They want to protect you. But they certainly don’t think any less of you than they did before” Tam said encouragingly.

“Yeah, for all we know they could be disappointed it’s not them you’re into instead of Andy” Nicky added, nudging me and winking teasingly. This got just a small chuckle from me.

“But what if Andy never speaks to me again after what I said to him?”

“Leonie, all you were doing was telling him the truth about what he was doing to you. It’s not your fault Andy’s hurting you, so he’d have no reason to just ditch you forever over all this” Tam said, reassuringly giving me a hug.

“Yeah I guess you’re right” I replied, and with that I wandered back over to the boys.

As I came up to them and they all looked at me sympathetically, I just totally shattered into millions of tiny little pieces like fragments of a broken mirror. My face was sodden with tears and I knelt on the floor like a baby and hid my face in my hands. Just casually crying while sat on the floor outside in the middle of high school. Totally normal right? Instead of pulling me up on to my feet and telling me to get a grip, Jinxx, CC, Jake and Ash knelt down beside me and wrapped their arms around me comfortingly. The five of us must have looked like complete and utter morons, but I don’t think any of us cared. It seemed that that bunch would do anything for me, and I would for them. Hell, I’d die for them if the circumstances made it so.