The Tower

Bruce

I woke the next day completely wrapped in Bucky's arms and Steve nowhere to be found. Bucky was not impressed.

"Damn it! He knows I hate waking up with someone else and he's gone. What if I hurt you?" He muttered against my skin.

"Yeah, but you didn't. Let's focus on that." I said snuggling into him more.

It had turned out that Steve had gone for his morning run with Sam so Bucky and I made pancakes together.

"How come you and Steve are so paired off compared to everyone else? I thought playing favorites would be a bad idea." I asked as we sat down opposite each other on the couch, plates on our laps and our legs entwined.

"If any of the others say they don't have favorites they're lying to you. But I think it's because of a few things." Bucky said. "Partly it's just because we have known each other forever. We're more comfortable together than alone. Partly it's the nightmares thing. I can't sleep alone but when I'm with someone else I just worry about hurting them. Partly it's because when I came here no one trusted me at all except Steve. Even though back then he was with Sam and so fuckin' torn about what to do and I didn't want to step in between them, he still let me live in his apartment because I had no one else. And... there's...". He grimaced and ran a hand through his hair.

I looked at him and quirked an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

"Look, we do love everyone else. I'd say we're in love with them all even if most of them would freeze up if we said it. Fuck, I even love Tony in his own way even if we're never going to be the two closest members of..." He paused looking for a word.

"Of the sexvengers?" I offered up.

He laughed and shook his head. "Yeah, that." He said. "I know Stevie would have a lot of trouble having to give any of them up if they decided they couldn't be part of the group anymore. But we might be immortal. Neither one of us has aged since the forties. And maybe that's the ice but I wasn't even on ice for the whole time and look at me?" He said. "We're both really scared about what that means. It makes me sick thinking we'll probably have to bury the others one day. So... we make time for each other so that this is always strong because one day, it's probably going to be all we have."

"Shit, I'm sorry, Bucky," I said thinking about all the real world implications that would have. "You don't worry about bringing more people in like me? Wouldn't it hurt to just keep falling in love over and over just to outlive them all?"

"Yeah, it terrifies me," Bucky answered. "And that's something else, we use the alone time to be upset about it. But we decided if we isolate ourselves we'd become jaded and start seeing ourselves as not human. And we don't want that. So we keep our hearts open. Pain is part of life I'm afraid."

"What a dark conversation to start the day with." I mused taking a large mouthful of pancake.

"Hey, you fuckin' started it, darlin'." Bucky teases poking me with his foot.