Funny short stories

story one- The two neighbors

I walked excitedly out of my house to get the mail. That's odd I'm excited to do chores. That never happens. I open the lid and see no mail. A big let down. I guess I don't have to do any chores than. and then I see it. The cutest boy I've ever laid eyes on. he is also getting the mail at his house. Ironically, he is my new neighbor. I just moved here to get a new start and new friends who are normal like me. I go over to introduce my self. "Hi, I'm Lily. What's your name?" I ask like I got was not stalking him. "I'm Liam." He has such a deep voice. "Well, I was wondering if you wanted to get a smoothie or a pizza, or something." He looks at me like I've got a turduckin on my head. A turduckin is a chicken stuffed inside a duck, stuffed inside a turkey. It's actually a lot better than it sound. I love to take a turkey baster and drink the juice from it. You can really taste the duck, and the chicken, and well- all of it. "No offense, but I'm actually not for you." I look up at Liam sorrowful. My dreams and life have been crashed and chopped with a clever. All gone in little turduckin bits. "Why?" I ask with tears welling up in my eyes. "I'm 17. you look kind of young. How old are you?" I might be able to grab him back. "I'm 14." He looks at me the same way. "Later." He walks away and into his house. I start to walk to the smoothie king to drown my sorrows there. As I'm walking I see a new cute fella. I jog up closer. "What's your name?"