The Lorax had no idea what to say. His husband was carrying a baby! He was so exited that he could finally make his parents proud. He was so exited for the baby shower. The birthday. And especially the food!
"We are going to have the best baby eating ritual ever!" The Lorax said. This obviously confused Sam-I-Am. "Wait, what do you mean 'baby eating ritual'?"
The Lorax made no reply. He was already calling his parents for the ritual. Sam-I-Am did not want the Lorax to eat his baby. In his fantasies, he wanted to raise a child, not eat it. Then again, the Lorax was more dyslexic than CeCe from Shake it Up, so it would make sense if he wasn't actually talking about eating innocent children. Hopefully it's a mistake, right? It probably is, he thought. But the next thing he knew, he was being rushed to the hospital.
"We have to harvest this baby as fast as possible!" The Lorax yelled. "The younger they are, the more scrumptious they are!" They arrived at the hospital. Sam-I-Am was rushed into a room where they would preform a c section. "Are you ready?" Asked the Lorax.
"NO!" Sam-I-Am shouted. One of the doctors fainted at this "no". He had never heard a better Rosa Parks impression. "Very done, Samantha!" Said another doctor. -BoneyBoi- tag yourself.
"Why not?" Asked the Lorax. "It's a tradition in our family that when someone gets pregnant, they harvest the baby ASAP and have it for dinner."
"No. I can't. I want to raise a child with you, Lorax! I want to run away with you to Canada as we run from the police for stealing a 26 dollar diamond from Iran. Not this!"
"I'm sorry, I have to!" Said the Lorax. "My family has always hated me. Years and years of them trying to make me one with the family. Nothing they tried worked. Once, they even killed my pet cat because I refused to go sky diving when I was younger, which was a family tradition for about 30000093276487.1415926539 years now. Do have any idea how many times I had to go to the hospital because of some insane punishment or tradition? I've spent my entire life trying to make it up to them. Now's the perfect chance. Eating this baby will make them like me again. Plus, we'll be very rich since my family is rich too. Please baby honey ham loving goo sucking lovey love lovester lovey love."
"No. Who cares about your family? Let's leave. Let's run away. I'll book a flight to France, just for you and me. The cats can stay here; we can visit them if we'd like. They'll survive. We'll keep in touch. We can spend the rest of our lives doing what we want instead of worrying about our families. What do you say?"
"I say..." The Lorax thinks for a minute. "I'm going to-"
The Lorax's family arrives in the room. "Where's our baby?" They ask.
"We're going to France! See you never, you crappy family!"
The family gets very mad. The mom gets out a knife and runs to stab Sam-I-Am. The Lorax recites all of the lyrics to Bust Your Kneecaps as Sam-I-Am grabs him and runs away. They run out of the hospital, hop in the car, and drive off to the airport.
That's it — they're heading to France. They're gone. And they have a child too.
Word count: 570
That's the end of Eggs and Trees Season 1! Yes I am going to do this in seasons. If this book gets enough reads then I may actually update this, but UNLESS that happens, I won't be back until the summer, where season 2 will start. Thanks for reading, and live your life to the fullest. Make the most of it, because you only live once! Also enjoy the original cover of this book up at the top
YOU ARE READING
Eggs and Trees (Sam-I-Am x The Lorax)
RomanceDon't read this unless you want to ruin your childhood
