May 3rd, 2020
Parents often think they know what their child's life is like. They say they know about the bullying, hurtful things people say, and the obstacles their child may face. For eighteen years of my life, I have told myself that.
It wasn't until last night, my daughter, Maddie, came up to me. She had tears in her beautiful hazel eyes so I did what a mother always does when their child is sad. I ran up to her, holding her close to me, telling her it's okay. Maddie looked in my eyes and spoke words that will forever break my heart.
"Mom, you always say it's okay, but it's not."
I knew Maddie didn't have the perfect childhood. Her father passed from a fatal car accident and she, of course, didn't take things well. She didn't understand why her daddy suddenly stopped coming home in the evenings, hugging her, telling her how wonderful she is. That was thirteen years ago and I thought she would have gotten over it by now.
I never would have guessed that my baby girl, my precious Maddie, was a victim of bullying. She was always this happy, cheerful girl. She makes excellent grades, she's very well mannered, and she's drum major of the school marching band. Every day, she comes home with the biggest smile on her face, kisses me on the cheek, and tells me how her day went. Never in a million years, I would have thought that teenagers have been bullying her.
She told me that kids in her grade always snicker at her as she walked down the halls, call her crude names, and sometimes physically hurt her. It scares me how well she's able to hide her emotions like that. She would go through seven, hard, cruel hours of bullying, and come home with the biggest, brightest smile on her face, telling me how she had the most wonderful day.
Words can't describe how I feel. I feel like I've failed as a mother. A mother's job is to prepare their child for adulthood and make sure they are always happy. Maddie is not happy. She's sad and broken inside, and it's my job to fix that. It's my job to make her happy again.
People don't realize it, but bullying doesn't only affect the victim; it affects their loved ones too. It breaks my heart to witness my daughter going through such a thing. I want to scream, kick, cry, and wish this never happened. I wish I could just say the words, '[Maddie was never bullied' and make it all go away.
I'm lucky though. Most of the time, kids never tell their parents what they're going through. They let all of the pain and anger build up inside of them until they feel like there's no point in living anymore. Kids are taking their own lives and their parents had no idea that their child was going through such a tragedy.
I am going to demand that the people who are bullying my daughter get expelled and pray to God that things get better. Maddie is going to college in a few months and I don't want her to leave and then find out that she's going through hard times or receive the phone call that she's never coming back. A mother is supposed to pass before their child.
Michelle
