Why am I me? - A Percy Jackson Fanfic

What the Hades am I doing?

I DO NOT OWN PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS, HEROES OF OLYMPUS, KANE CHRONICLES OR HARRY POTTER.

So when I wake up all I remember is laying Riptide against my wrist and I panic. 'Oh Styx! I' not... I didn't... I'm not that stupid.'

'No your not dead,'. I hear a voice from behind me. I see Lady Artemis and I instantly bow. Then I hear another voice saying: 'Is he awake yet I... Oh yes he is.'

Who I see shocks me, 'L-l-lady A-A-Artemis, L-l-lady H-H-Hecate.'

'Yes 'tis us,' Hecate replied.

Well anyway they told about this weird voodoo school thing and how they'd just just come out of a war with a Lord Lodervolt or something similar. At this point I really didn't know where came into it and I still didn't know where where the Hades I was or what the Hell, the tale of Henry Dotter had anything to do with my miserable existence!

'Lady Artemis, Lady Hecate. I am interested in what you telling me but, so far, I do not know what connection it has with me or, to be quite honest, any one here except for you: Lady Hecate.'

'Well we were just getting to that, boy. Essentially, we want you to teach them.'

I choked on my own saliva and laughed. I am not afraid to admit it, I found the idea of me teaching so funny I laughed. 

'Me. You want me to teach people. I mean no disrespect, but are you completely SANE! I am a demigod, a demigod not a wizard, with ADHD and dyslexia  'that has never scored above a C- in a test. Not mentioning that even I have lost count of how many times I have had to change schools because of expulsion. I simply can not do-'

'Shut up! Stop whining. I did not stop you from taking your life to hear you whine. I just need to talk to Dionysus for two minutes if I want to hear a stupid male whine.'

I was taken back at Artemis' words. She'd saved my life? Why? She was probably just repaying a favour, although I had never imagined the mighty Phoebe Artemis to consider herself in debt. Especially to a 'male' or 'boy'. I'm sure my face at that moment would have been a comical sight; emotions and thoughts washed over me like a mighty tidal wave of feeling and confusion.

'...face. He is an idiot. Look at him. I doubt his understood a tiny fraction of what we have told him. Perseus. Listen to me.'

I was brought out of my reverie and back to reality by Artemis talking about me - or I guessed it was me considering they were talking about an idiot.

'This is the last time I will say this, ok. We need you to help do two things: one, help the Hogwartians get over there rather minor war and learn to deal with loss in the proper way. Two, find the last of Tom Riddle's supporters (Hecate has reason to believe they are inside the School). To help you with this we will assign you two assistants - two minor gods. They are surprisingly Hecate's best friends, even though they are Roman.'

I had almost forgoten Hecate was there so she surprised me when she said: 'You can trust them fully. I believe you have already met on of them. There names are Mithras and Janus.'

Although I had no love for Janus, I figured arguing would not help the situation, so i excepted it and agreed to the job. 

So I found myself in a place called something like Dragon Alley shopping for cloaks and wands with a twelve year old Artemis and a twenty-two year old Hecate. Weird. I specialise in weird.

So there I find myself in the great hall of a castle thinking about what the Hades I was going to teach and when the Hades my helpers would arrive. Generally, what the Hades was I doing?