This song is everything to me. I literally feel all sorts of emotions when I am hearing this song. And I am going to give a little bit of background of myself and my life as it is right now; so you all can better understand just how much this song paints the portrait of my emotions and my life struggles at this very moment. I am currently 20 years old and I am a sister of six brothers. Growing up my older and younger brothers were always over protective of me. But in all that, I still had to overcome hardships I pray no one will ever have to. And I've grown in the last decade through all of those painful up and downs. But these past two months have been the two hardest and longest painful months for me. A little time after thanksgiving; I walked into the scariest moment I would ever face in my life. my brother may you rest in forever peace, died by suicide December 9, 2019.
You were so smart, kind, and just so loved by everyone. You had such a great personality everywhere you went you spread happiness, joy and love. And I am struggling with you being gone. I wish I hadn't been so blind to your struggles. But I was so focused on my own struggles and battles that I didn't want to put focus on yours. I didn't want to see the signs. And now I lost you and I will forever miss you.
But as sad as I am without you I was also angry at you. I hated you for leaving me alone, I hated you for no longer being around to fight my battles with me. You promised you always be here but not all goes as planned. I walked into that room wanting my brother that night and instead all I got was your departed soul. And I'm trying to heal slowly. But in hating you for leaving me, and in losing you so tragically; I learned to love me and my flaws and my past struggles because they made me who I am. And most importantly because I never wanna leave those who mean so much to me, the way you decided you'd leave me. R.I.P to my big brother, you were always my favorite and my partner in crime and like I said the past two months have been incredibly painful to continue on with life without you by my side but I will because I choose to live for the both of us now.
You promised the world and I fell for it
I put you first and you adored it
Set fires to my forest
And you let it burn
Sang off-key in my chorus
'Cause it wasn't yours
I saw the signs and I ignored it
Rose-colored glasses all distorted
Set fire to my purpose
And I let it burn
You got off on the hurtin'
When it wasn't yours, yeah
We'd always go into it blindly
I needed to lose you to find me
This dance, it was killing me softly
I needed to hate you to love me, yeah
To love, love, yeah
To love, love, yeah
To love, yeah
I needed to lose you to love me, yeah
To love, love, yeah
To love, love, yeah
To love, yeah
I needed to lose you to love me
I gave my all and they all know it
Then you tore me down and now it's showing
In two months, you replaced us
Like it was easy
Made me think I deserved it
In the thick of healing, yeah
We'd always go into it blindly
I needed to lose you to find me
This dance, it was killing me softly
I needed to hate you to love me, yeah
To love, love, yeah
To love, love, yeah
To love, yeah
I needed to lose you to love me, yeah
To love, love, yeah
To love, love, yeah
To love, yeah
I needed to lose you to love me
You promised the world and I fell for it
I put you first and you adored it
Set fires to my forest
And you let it burn
Sang off-key in my chorus
To love, love, yeah
To love, love, yeah
To love, yeah
I needed to hate you to love me, yeah
To love, love, yeah
To love, love, yeah
To love, yeah
I needed to lose you to love me
To love, love, yeah
To love, love, yeah
To love, yeah
And now the chapter is closed and done
To love, love, yeah
To love, love, yeah
To love, yeah
And now it's goodbye, it's goodbye for us
