Transversals

VII. So It Goes

"Are you even listening?"

I blinked hard and looked to Will as the bell rang, signaling we were late to chemistry again. Will's mouth was pressed into a line of concern. I sheepishly answered, "No."

We walked into the classroom and thankfuly Ms. Mahone didn't notice, too busy taking attendance on her computer while classmates milled about. It was an oh-so wonderful Monday lab, so we'd have time to talk once she gave us the procedure. The weekend had been nice. Hanna scored twice in her game on Saturday, and I ended up losing five bucks to Will over betting on little league soccer.

We sat in our separate seats and awaited further instruction, and I nervously glanced over at Will. He showed no hurt or disappointment in his expression (as expected), but I thought seeing nothing felt worse than seeing pain over my acerbity. He was far too nice for his own good.

I kept thinking about that dream...god, I could just remember it so vividly. It didn't sit right in my stomach, the whole encounter, the clarity, Ben himself. He was actually nice for a short while until the truth came out. He made me out as nothing more than a responsibility, nothing more than an added on factor to his insurance policy. Yet I was the one who imagined him, since it was all in my head. It felt way too real to make all that up by myself within a dream.

I wanted to talk to Afton about him and about all this again, try and push my way through the mirror and just get some type of answer as to what they've told her and what she's told them. Monitored travel seemed like a serious subject, although I couldn't be sure what that completely meant for me. But in the grand scheme of things, I suppose there was another difference between Afton and me: I could keep my mouth shut.

She had to know they travel. Did it link back to the ice monster? Why did they keep coming over to my dimension to visit me? Is Lana only getting close to Will to learn more about me? What a shitty move to pull. What a downright, shitty move on their part.

"Harley, for god's sake, are you even alive?" Will asked. I jumped, finding him leaning over my table while everyone else was getting supplies. His dark brown eyes conveyed nothing but deep-seated concern. "Seriously, what's wrong?"

I rubbed my face and grabbed the papers in front of me. "No, no, I'm fine."

Will followed me to get goggles, snatching papers from my hand and setting them on a passing table. He lowered his voice and checked around for Ms. Mahone before saying, "I know you're spoon-feeding me bullshit, Axelson."

I tried to play it cool, slipping on the goggles and getting the chemicals straightened out as I sat. "I prefer the phrase 'hearty-forkful' to 'spoon-feeding'. And since when do you swear?"

Will pulled on his goggles and sat beside me, hooking up the Bunsen burner, mouth still pressed into a thin line. "I'm just worried about you. You've just been so distracted lately and..." He snapped away from the experiment for a moment and faced me, hastily adding "Does this have to do with what time of year it is?"

I did a double-take. "Time, time of year? You're aware how periods work, right?"

He laughed and shook his head while striking a match, lighting the Bunsen burner and getting the first splint of chemical to burn ready. "You know what I'm talking about. A year ago is when all that stuff went down with your Mom."

I clenched my pencil tight and my throat closed up, every muscle in my body tense and waiting to snap. It was a messy, messy day. And next Saturday would mark exactly a year, I figured. Nah, I wasn't going to think about it then. There were only two possibilities as to what I'd do, being so stressed out already: cry out, or lash out.