torment | markhyuck

34 さんじゅうよん

jeno looked carefully at haechan, who couldn't seem to look straight back at him. the younger fiddled around with his sleeves as he eventually looked down.

"so you're breaking off something we never even had?" jeno clarified with a scoff, and haechan looked up at him with a frown. "jeno-"

"why? am i not good enough for you?" he muttered and looked down. "is it because my life is so screwed up that you find it repulsive? you think you're more normal than me just because you have family and i don't?"

"don't bring those matters into this," haechan begged gently in a lower voice, cautious of the people in the cafe around them. "jeno, you know i care about you. and you've done nothing wrong - you even taught me things i never knew to do before."

"smoking is a skill that everyone has since birth, from sucking on a dummy," he deadpanned as he looked away and folded his arms. "not like you enjoyed it, anyway. and social media isn't something i taught you, it's something i gave to you. i didn't teach you how to kiss, either. even though you said i was your first, your tongue told me otherwise."

haechan blushed, and he finally looked at him. "jeno, look at me."

the man, anxious about breaking down, finally looked back at the younger, who offered him a gentle smile. "we're still friends, jeno. i just... i see you more as a brother than i do as a lover. it's... do you remember mark hyung?"

"the jackass who visited you with your brother at rehab?" he scoffed. "the one who made you ill? yeah, of course i do."

haechan gulped. "i never told you, but i'm in love with him."

jeno looked up at him, and his stoic stance fell for a moment as haechan spoke. "i have been for a while. but we feigned ignorance, and we never talked about it, and i-it snowballed and it became painful, so i ran away from him... and my brother."

"and i was your rebound," jeno muttered, but the younger shook his head and smiled. "no. you were the only one to reach out to me when no one else was there. you took care of me, didn't you? you made sure i wouldn't wake up in the morning without a smile on my face."

jeno looked at him, and he smiled tightly as haechan spoke. "well... when i wake up in the morning, he puts a smile on my face. it's been like that for years. it's not that i don't love you, jeno... i just loved someone else first."

the man pursed his lips, and he sighed as he leaned back. "damn it. you know i'm a sucker for first loves."

haechan couldn't help but smile as jeno sat up. "well, thanks i guess, for telling me this early. i know that no matter how much this sucks for me, it's hard for you too. it would've been worse if you lead me on and did this later, when it'd be too late. right now, to me, you're just a cute face."

as jeno pinched his cheek, haechan whined, before he grinned brightly. "i do love you, jeno. you're a bad influence but you're compassionate."

"i know," he ruffled his hair, before he looked down. "hey, haechan... you'll stay by my side till i find my own love, won't you?"

haechan frowned, and he shook his head no. he reached over and grabbed jeno's hand tightly. "i'll stay by your side for forever."

jeno tried to hold back his grin, so he sat back with a sigh. "guess i should thank that mark guy for screwing you up so bad that you needed rehab. because of him, i got to meet you."

haechan rolled his eyes, before he smiled and looked down. he couldn't have been more grateful for jeno, who took all this so calmly and didn't make it hard for him.

now, all that was left was johnny.