Fur Cara

Chapter thirteen

It didn't make sense. It wasn't possible. Not Caroline.
    "Excuse me doctor, I think you have it all wrong." Kelvin said.
    "She took a second test and we had the same result.  She has brain cancer."
    "But...but...that can't....how did this even happen?"
His knees felt weak and he slumped into the chair beside the bed.
    "A number of things could cause cancer. Sometimes, it could be hereditary."
    "It's not possible." Kelvin said in a daze. "She can't have cancer."
    "The symptoms have gotten more severe over the weeks. Headaches, fatigue, mood swings..."
    "But she can be treated." Kelvin said,  his mind moving in circles. "Chemotherapy.....and all those things they do for cancer patients right."
    "It's too late for that."
    "What of an operation."
    "Unfortunately, the tumor was not discovered on time. It has grown too big to be removed. If we operate on her, her life would be endangered and so would her baby's. We could lose both of them."
Kelvin felt hope seeping out of him.
    "How long does she have left?"
    "A few months. I'm sorry."
Nothing in his life would have prepared him for losing Caroline. Just when he could give her a better life. They had done everything. They had fought her family, struggled to be with each other and now, something worse loomed ahead. Pain sliced through him as he realized that she didn't have long to live. He wanted to hold her and never let go, wanted to take her away from her problems. Unfortunately it could not be solved with him running away with her. She had kept it from him all this while. She had suffered alone and he hadn't been able to see it. Her temperamental behavior, her sudden outburst had all been a facade and he wasn't paying attention well enough to see through it. He blamed himself for a lot of things. He had taken her away from a better life. He knew that if she were back home, there would be a solution.
Caroline opened her eyes to find Kelvin staring down at her. From the look on his eyes, she knew that he knew. She had tried to keep it to herself. She knew that if he found out, he would blame himself for everything. She did not want him suffering for her. It was her burden that she was supposed to carry alone.
    "Hey." He said softly still holding on to her hand.
    "Hey." She said. Her throat felt dry.
    "How are you doing?"
    "I'm holding up."
    "You look sick." He said.
    "I feel sick." She replied.
    "You rarely fall sick."
    "I never do."
They were dancing around the main topic and they knew it.
    "I was at the school. I got the job."
She smiled. "I knew you would."
    "The pay is good." He said returning her smile.
    "Plus, you would be doing something you love."
    "Yeah. Something I love." He echoed.
They stared at each other in silence waiting for the other to bring up the topic. None of them wanted to talk about it. It would mean acknowledging the fact and they were both still in denial.
But Kelvin knew that it was one that they couldn't avoid.
    Why didn't you tell me?" Kelvin asked quietly.
    "Which part?" Caroline asked.
    "Come on. You know what I mean." Tears sprang to his eyes. "Why did you keep it from me?"
    "It's not your burden." Caroline said past the lump in her throat.
    "You're pregnant. Doesn't that count?"
    "I was going to tell you that." Caroline said with a smile. A tear ran down her cheeks. "You're going to be a father."
Kelvin chuckled despite himself. "We're going to be parents."
    "Do you think it's a girl?" Caroline asked, a new light in her eyes.
    "It's going to be a boy." Kelvin said with certainty.
    "I want a girl." Caroline said.
    "Then I want one as beautiful as you."
Caroline laughed. "Or as good looking as you but not as stubborn."
    "Since when was I the stubborn one?" Kelvin asked playfully.
    "I'm not stubborn." Caroline pouted.
    "Yes you are. You bully your way through."
They burst out laughing. When their laughter died down, they stared at each other. They had one more bridge to cross.
    "Let's not talk about it." Caroline pleaded, closing her eyes.
    "We can't avoid it." Kelvin said.
   "There isn't time."
Caroline said and opened her eyes. He saw no fear neither did he see weakness in her. Her strength gave him strength.
    "That's what the doctor says. We're going to pull through this." He said with renewed strength. "We'll be here for each other."
Caroline smiled and looked down at their joined hands.
    "Yes we will pull through this."