Fur Cara

Chapter fourteen

    "How are you feeling?" Doctor Ben asked Caroline who lay on the hospital bed looking as pale as death.
    "I'm better." Caroline replied.
    "The headaches are getting worse." Kelvin said. He was seated next to Caroline whose hand was clamped in his.
    "I've increased the dose of the drugs. That should help."
    "I don't have much time. Do I?" Caroline asked calmly.
    "You're going to be fine." Kelvin soothed.
    "What of my baby?"
    "The baby is doing fine but I fear that you might not be strong enough to carry it till it is mature for birth. I suggest..."
    "No..." Caroline interrupted. "I'm not dying without giving birth to my child. I'm going to have this baby like every normal woman."
Doctor Ben sighed. In all his years, he had never seen a woman as stubborn and strong willed as Caroline. "You're going to be placed on  bed rest so you can be monitored closely."
    "I don't want to be on bedrest." Caroline argued.
    "Cara, you're weak. Please listen to the doctor." Kelvin pleaded.
    "I'll check in later." Doctor Ben said and excused himself.

Days turned into weeks and the baby within her grew stronger. She agreed to be placed on bed rest and her ward was made a second home for her.
Her mother and father showed up few days later with Agnes by their side.
    "Caroline." Her father said giving her a brief hug. He loved his daughter but he didn't know her. He had been too busy with work that he hadn't watched her grow. Now was the only chance he had to spend with her and it was a time too short.
Agnes eyes glowed with happiness at seeing Caroline again. Better still was the fact that she was carrying a little one.
    "Aggy..." Caroline said with a smile as Agnes walked into the ward.
    "My baby girl." Agnes said as tears fell down her cheeks. She went over to Caroline and gave her a warm hug ignoring Charlotte's presence.
    "You're a full grown woman!" Agnes said. Back when Kelvin and Caroline had run away, Agnes had been apprehensive. They were so young that she believed that they wouldn't last long on their own but she had been wrong. Her boy had proven how much of a man he was. He had taken care of Caroline and gotten a good job and a big house. They were doing fine and she was happy for them.
    "How have you been dear?" Agnes asked.
    "I'm fine." Caroline said. She glanced at Charlotte but said nothing. She was not in the mood to have any discussion with her mother. "I miss you and your delicious cooking. I always burn what I cook."
Agnes gave a good natured laugh. "You would learn with time. I'm here now." She glanced down at Caroline's belly. "You're going to be a mother. I can't believe this." She added with excitement. "You do look sick. I reckon it's the pregnancy."
Caroline glanced at Kelvin who shook his head. It was obvious that Agnes was unaware of her illness.
    "I am sick Aggy and it is not because of my baby." Caroline said.
    "Then what is it darling? Do you have the flu?" Agnes asked.
    "Cancer." Charlotte said as if testing the word. It was hard for her to believe that Caroline of all people would suffer that deadly illness.
Agnes looked at Charlotte then back to Caroline.
    "What does your mother mean?"
    "I have brain cancer. The doctor said I don't have much time to live." Caroline said laying a protective hand on her stomach.
Agnes shook her head. "I don't understand. Are you trying to say....what you mean is...." She was afraid to complete the sentence so Caroline did.
    "I'm going to die."
Silence settled on everyone. Saying the words out loud made them realize how true it was. They had been living silently in denial. Even after Caroline had been placed on bed rest, Kelvin had refused to acknowledge that he was losing Caroline. She was slipping away slowly but they closed their eyes to that. He still thought it was a passing phase one that they would get over in no time but now, it seemed real. Too real that it scared him.
Agnes' knees felt weak and Kelvin held on to her while she took a seat. She clung to Kelvin while she she let her tears fall. The sound of Agnes' sobs brought tears to Charlotte's eyes and she blinked severally to clear them. Caroline sighed. She was fighting within her. She was strong. She had Kelvin and Agnes and her family. She looked at her mother and father who stood looking uncomfortable in the small ward. None of them were prepared for this. She had caused them so much. She hadn't given them a chance or even tried to have a sensible conversation with them. She had been too sturbborn and so had they. Her father had been too busy with his company and her mother had been too concerned with prestige. They were strangers to themselves.
The days that followed were the toughest for them all. They watched Caroline fight to hold the baby within her. Despite the doctor's suggestion that an operation be performed for her to give birth prematurely, incubating the baby for the remaining period, Caroline strongly insisted that she was going to carry her child for the right duration and deliver it.
Kelvin remained by her side. He was there when she drifted off to sleep and was there when she awoke. Agnes prepared delicious meals most of which she could not eat. Her parents tried to get close. After closing them off for so long, she decided to let them in. Her mother bought beautiful baby clothes that she showed to Caroline. Their conversations were akward at first and filled with so much silence but soon, they got used to it.
    "I didn't know which colour of shoes to pick. Pink or blue. So I just bought both." Charlotte said as she walked into Caroline's private ward. She blinked rapidly when she realized that she had spoken so freely to Caroline.
    "The baby would be too young to wear shoes." Caroline said slowly.
Charlotte blushed in embarrassment. "Oh. I didn't know that."
Caroline smiled. "She would still grow up."
    "She? Is it going to be a girl?" Charlotte said with light in her eyes.
    "We don't know. Kelvin and I decided to know the sex of our child at birth."
    "I'm sure it's a girl." Charlotte said firmly.
    "At least we share the same opinion."
They burst out laughing. They realized that they had never laughed together before. If they knew how good it felt, they would have tried. Charlotte felt tears spring to her eyes. She had missed her chance to raise Caroline. She had been too busy paying attention to how much of a lady she could be instead of trying to understand Caroline as a person. She had been blinded by her selfishness that she hadn't realized that she had a wonderful daughter. There was so much she wanted to tell this strong daughter of hers, so much that she wanted to do. If only she had the chance to go back and shower Caroline with all the love that she deserved. Time was not enough. Caroline was fighting hard but they all knew that it wouldn't be for long. She didn't realize that she was crying until Caroline took her hand. She saw that Caroline had tears in her eyes.
    "I'm so sorry Cara." It was the first time she had called her by her nickname. "I was not a mother to you."
    "I didn't give you a chance to." Caroline said softly. "We made a lot of mistakes that we cannot change but you have another chance. This child..." Caroline placed Charlotte's hand on her swollen stomach. "...is going to need a mother. I know that I won't be there to train her...." Sobs caught in her throat.
    "Don't say that Caroline. You're going to fight as you've always done." Charlotte said but they both knew that she didn't have much time.
    "I want you to be a mother to her. Train her, teach her, love her. Don't make her miss me."
Both held on to each other as they allowed their tears to fall. In that moment, Caroline and Charlotte felt the bond that only a mother and daughter could feel.
On a very beautiful spring morning, Caroline went into labor. It was a difficult birth. Doctor Ben offered them the option if an operation again but Caroline despite being in pain refused. Her parents, Agnes, Margaret and Poe with some of their friends arrived at the hospital and were all taken to the waiting room. Only Kelvin was allowed in the labor room. Caroline held on to him the same way she held on to life as with every contraction that ripped through her. She felt her life slipping away from her but she held on. She was determined to deliver her baby no matter what iy took. Even if it was once, she wanted to experience the feeling of motherhood. She had to bear the pain for so many hours that she lost track of time.
With every scream, Kelvin panic increased. He could see her pain, could feel it as well. He knew she was strong but he was afraid. She looked so pale. He wanted to take away the pain and make it better. He wanted her screams to stop. She held him tightly as she spoke random words. He could see that she was losing strength but she continued pushing.
    "Please Caroline. Hold on please." Kelvin pleaded as he smooth her hair that was damp with sweat.
After twelve hours of being in labor, Caroline was delivered of a baby. The first cries of the child pierced the air bringing joy to all.
    "It's a girl." Kelvin said as he clutched the tiny bundle handed to him. "You did it." He said with pride to Caroline. 
    "It's a girl. My little baby girl." Caroline said as tears of joy filled her eyes. Kelvin handed the baby to her. It was a beautiful child with dark hair like Kelvin's but a beautiful face like Caroline's. She placed the baby on her chest feeling the heartbeat against her own.
The baby was taken from her briefly to be cleaned and dressed.
Family members and friends were allowed to see her after some time. She was exhausted but she was happy and content.
    "She's going to be a handful just like Cara." Agnes said taking in the child's stubborn chin.
   "Can I hold her." Charlotte said calmly. Agnes handed the child to her which she took very carefully. The baby felt so small in her arms. Her bright eyes stares up at her. Charlotte knew in that instant that she was going to love this child with all her heart. She was going to give her all the live that she failed to give Caroline. It didn't matter what they had in the past, the child brought a new beginning to her. Her father stared at the child wwith wonder. He had barely spent time with Caroline when she was little. There had been nannies and caretakers to do that. The look the child gave him made him smile. Agnes was right. She was going to be a handful. 
    "What would you call her?" Charlotte asked.
    "Victoria." Caroline said. "She's my greatest victory."

Caroline didn't get better. She was growing weaker. She watched the people she loved fuss over Little Victoria and knew that her precious daughter would be in good hands. She thought of Kelvin the man she loved who had given her all that she could dream of.
Two weeks after Victoria's birth, Kelvin walked into her ward with a big smile on his face.
    "What's making you smile this morning?" She asked. He leaned down and pecked her.
    "I have every reason to be happy. I have a beautiful wife and daughter. What's there not to be grateful for?" He took her hands. "Doctor Ben told me you were doing better. It's been two weeks now and you are still okay. Maybe all this will pass. There is a chance that you can be healed and come back home."
Caroline smiled. "I am home wherever you are."
He nodded. "Do you remember the song I was trying to compose at one time?"
Caroline nodded.
    "Well, I finished it."
Caroline smiled. "I want you to play it for me."
    "I have to get the keyboard in here...."
Caroline shook her head. "I want you to play it to me outside this room. In an open space where I can feel comfortable."
    "That would cause you to leave the room. You know you can't do that." Kelvin said.
    "I don't want to remain here. Just one last time. I want you to play to me. While I see the world outside. Just this last time."
Kelvin felt loss tugging at him. He knew though he did not want to admit it that she was slipping away.
    "I think I know a place."
It was difficult to convince the doctor to release her but eventually, he did. It was cold outside and Caroline dressed in a loose fitting trousers, wool sweater, a woolen cap and boots held on to Kelvin as they drove through. She took in the sights of the buildings, the people, the sights that she had missed all the months that she spent in the hospital. When he stopped and led her out of the car, she inhaled the fresh air grateful for the opportunity to be out of the hospital ward and away from the smell of sickness. She was too weak that she could barely hold herself up. She held on to Kelvin as he took her into a very tall building that was used for various activities. They took an elevator to the top floor and they walked the short distance till they were out on the top of the building. It was beautiful. Potted plants were arranged in one part. There was an arrangement of two chairs that faced each other beneath a shade. To one end was a grand piano.
    "I used to come here when when I worked at the club. It is a peaceful place."
    "Who owns it?"
    "A man I worked for. He rarely uses this space. I play for him sometimes." Kelvin explained as he led her to sit in front of the grand piano.
    "It's beautiful." Caroline said. She felt as though she was on top of the world. She could see everything beneath her. It was exhilarating to be able to watch the world pass by.
Kelvin sat beside her.
    "Are you ready?" He asked her.
Caroline nodded.
The moments his fingers touched the keys, Caroline was transported briefly to heaven. The music flowed through her, beautiful, sweet and sad. It was the best song she had ever heard. She never knew that anything so beautiful could come from an instrument.
    "It's heavenly." She said softly. She laid her head on his shoulders. Her breathing was slowing. She was getting too tired. "What would you call it?" She asked.
    "Fur Cara. The song is for you. For everything that you represent." Kelvin said. He felt her smile but he also felt the sadness.
    "I'm sorry Kelvin. For having to leave you so soon."
Kelvin shook his head as tears filled his eyes. "You're not leaving me Cara. You can't."
    "I want you to be happy. Never blame yourself for any of this."
    "I wish I had given you a better life."
Caroline smiled. "You gave me the best life a person could wish for. If I could go back, I would run away with you again and again."
    "We fought through a lot Cara. We got this far."
    "For that I am grateful. I am grateful that I met you and I am grateful for the precious gift you gave me, Victoria."
    "She's so much like you." Kelvin said. "So stubborn."
Caroline chuckled. "She is lucky to have you as a father. Take care of her."
    "I want us to take care of her together as a family."
    "We would always be together. I would always live in your hearts. Thank you Kelvin, for the life we had, for what we shared." She didn't lift her head from his shoulders. She was speaking with the last strength in her. "I love you and our daughter. Never forget that."
A lone tear escaped her eyes before she closed it one last time.
Kelvin felt her go slack against him. He put his arm around her and held her limp body tightly against him as he sobbed. He knew without looking at the serene expression on her face that she was gone.

Wow.... Finally, the last chapter.
A lot has happened so far.
Epilogue is still coming up...
Don't forget to vote...