When do we decide that the act we play is too much? How do we choose to continue or to quit? Is it possible that in secret we love the character we play and thus we never change roles but simple say we may. We can change our lives; it has been a known rule since we were born. We were the ones to teach our selves to walk, to run, to speak, to play the parts we do. In truth our entire lives rest in our hands for we chose how to handle the situations that make or break us. We pick which direction we walk in, left or right? But for some, unexplainable reason we continue to live the same way even when we hate it, even when we know that by going a different way just once could change our lives forever. We always go right not left or vice versa. In our personal worlds we never do anything new. We like reputation; we like to help history repeat. We love to do the same crap over and over again. We never go out on an unexplored branch. We like to know that we will not fall off the edge of the earth. We try so hard to stay safe while putting our happiness on the line. We act as if the world we live in is fine. We allow others to worry about the bigger issues of the world, saying that we will eventually. Just so we may continue living a delusional life, playing the part and always believe that one day we will stop and follow our hearts.
Every day I live a life, I act a part in the play of the world. I rarely follow my heart and when I do I almost forget how to know it is really my heart. I lie to my self, so I may pretend that my problems are someone else’s. That the advice I am given stems from the other person’s personal problems and that the issue is not mine. That my problem is something much more simple and easy to fix, that I just need to try harder or to forgive and forget. How did we start lying to ourselves and to others? What happened to us, why do we think that pretending our problems are not real will make them go away? It is not like that works with any other problem. We can pretend that school or work doesn’t exist but sooner or later you are going to get a phone call. Just because we hide under the blankets does not mean the monster isn’t there anymore. Is it possible that we only hide under the blankets for we are scared that the life we live will one day kill us? What part of life are we scared of and when the hell did we start running from the same things that make us breath?
As the world spins and we grow older we become stronger, braver and more willing to face our old fears but when we are no longer scared, we take the fear we once felt and put it towards something else. In life many are scared of regret and others of not living, each person fears something. As the person grows the fear is changed and even replaced at times. What makes us so afraid is the same thing that makes us so human. Raw Emotion. What happened to our raw emotions, when did it their become so horrible, what do we do about the raw emotions both good and bad, we hide them. When did it become wrong to show them? The very emotions that make us real that prove we are part of the world, the ones that tell us what is wrong with our hearts. I understand that the raw emotions are overpowering, often unwanted and drive us to madness in a matter of minutes. One minute we are fine and the next we are sitting down, trying to catch our breath. But what about the good our raw emotions do? The way we are glad to see the bike we wanted, or the way we feel when our crush speaks to us? Now-a-days we are told to let it all go but never allowed to cry. We are told to suck it up, to be a “big kid” or act like an “adult” not like that is a fun thing to do. All our lives we are told one thing and expected to act the opposite. We are told that nothing is wrong with crying but then discouraged to cry in public. So when we are happy we show it to the world and when we are sad we hide behind a fraud.
It is amazing how well we play our part; we get so evolved in our character that we almost forget that we are the ones writing the script. That we are the ones allowing the play to go on, that at any moment we could leave and never comeback. We forget that the one who is running the show is us and that we may go after another part, if we really wanted to. That the only thing we have to do is go right not left or left not right. The character we pick becomes so much more then simply a part in the play of the world, the character becomes us, it assumes us and takes over our personality. Changing our lives making us become someone who we do not always like, if even recognize. We learn to act so well that even our closest friends do not always realize that the emotion on our face is just a false showing of our hearts. At times we are so convinced that others can not hide their feelings as well as we can we make plans with people who better actors then us. The counterfeiting of emotions are learned and can make a person seem so real but if you look past the doctored appearance you will see the same broken and scared heart. And with any serious actor we will do anything to keep it going, to let the play go on. With any part an actor lies, we make the words leave our lips so that the character we play stays believable. To save face, to play a part that we may hate or no longer realize it is a lie. We lie with words, that we forget the lies and think them truth. Why do we always talk? We talk no matter what we feel and what we think. We lie so often that the language we made mean less then baby talk. We talk so much that the words lose all meaning and that the message is lost in translation. The world around us has gone down through time. The technology more advanced, the medical help too but the words we say the thing that made it all possible have began to mean next to nothing. Every day people say I love you as they cheat, that they are happy when tears run down they face. We lie so often that the most important words we have in our vocabulary have no meaning; for the use of them range from honesty to a lie that makes the whole world blind. What do we do about this? How can we be so mean to the language to the words that save us everyday. How have we been so cruel?
