The Emperor's Concubine

19: Honour and Responsibility

Li Hua's P.O.V

When she awakens again, it is the face of her friend that greets her, pressed softly against the side of the bed, her right cheek flattened and pink from the pressure. The Emperor is nowhere to be found, and she swallows down the lump of disappointment and heartache immediately, there was an oncoming war to deal with after all. Looking down at her friend, she smiles softly, patting the girl's dark hair affectionately.

"Fang Liu caught me 'sleeping on the job' and didn't say anything. Do you think she has gone soft with age?" her friend mumbles rousing from her feigned slumber.

Li Hua gives out a small chuckle, the action causing her side to sting in pain as Jingah sits up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"No, I think she has just grown fond of you"

Her friend smiles sadly, the gesture not quite reaching her tired eyes.

"I'm sorry....about The Empress....I know she was a friend of yours" Her hand clasps tenderly onto Li Hua's. Li Hua swallows thickly, her throat dry.

"I want to go for a walk" she says quickly changing the subject, grimacing as she attempts to get up. Her maid is immediately by her side, her small frame working as a support to her weight. She can clearly see the disapproving look in her friend's stern gaze, the kind of look that doesn't want her in the freezing cold with a wound that was still healing to be waltzing around. But Li Hua needs air, she needs the bitter winds of winter to drag her from the haze of losing a friend- a sister- she needs to figure out how to prevent a war, she needs to find Yao Mei......she needs answers. Li Hua manages to stumble upright as Jingah scuttles off to retrieve a cloak and a pair of slippers. Quickly, Li Hua ruffles through her dressing table drawer, producing the letter The Empress had given her, before tucking it carefully into the sleeves of her gown. She can still feel The Empress' Royal Talisman beneath her clothing and she sighs a sigh of relief. Jingah returns quickly, settling the cloak around her shoulders and helping her to put on her slippers. The cloak is a warm and comforting weight against her thin gowns beneath as they both head outside.

Beyond her quarters, Li Hua can see that The Palace is beginning to thaw. Colour is starting to return, patches of dull greens and rusty reds from the wooden pillars and rooftops as well as small traces of vibrant greens from the budding plants are reemerging from beneath the thinning blanket of white. Guards grunt softly, bodies stiff and tense and eunuchs and maids murmur of chorus of "My Lady," as she walks past. The greetings almost seem like small apologies for her loss.

Spring, the season of new beginnings she thinks idly to herself.

Nearing the alcove, she can almost hear the melancholic strum of the Guzheng (Chinese Harp) that The Empress once played. Its tune wafts softly through the chilly breeze and her heart suddenly aches for it. She almost sees The Empress there too, sitting gracefully on the stone stool, face peaceful as she plays, but the mirage is gone before it was even fully formed. The Empress' golden amulet rests against her chest, its cool blunt edges pressing into her skin beneath her robes, its presence serving as a reminder to her friend and now.....her responsiblity.She sits down with the help of Jingah before softly dismissing her against her friend's weak protests.

"I need some space," she says firmly. Time ticks by slowly. From what Jingah had told her on the trip here, there was no escaping the oncoming war. Since the death of The Empress' father, her uncle had promptly taken over the throne and not long after, had declared war on their nation. From the gossip known, troops were already gathering along the border between the two nations, both sides fully prepared to spill blood. Was this what The Empress meant by "the right time"? She pulls the letter out from within her sleeve, the paper rustling softly as she flattens it against her slightly shivering knees. Her hands shake as she begins to open the envelope, her numb digits, struggling to unfold the thin paper without tearing it.