The Hot and Spicy Barack Obama Fanfic

Am I pregnant with Obama's baby?!

i woke up, took a fat shit. god my butthole was aching! after a year since that encounter with obama, i woke up today with sickness. i threw up over all my moms waffles. "what's wrong with you?!" she asks. "i need a pregnancy test!" i scream, as my butthole gapes more. "you're a virgin!" she says angrily. "it's for my friend! duh!"
"oh okay." she buys me one. i pee on it anxiously, getting it all over me. i wait in fear. am i pregnant?! i stare at it... it flashes. oh. ehm. gee. i am pregnant with obama! i gasp. "time for school!" my mom yells. oh no!!! i hide the pregnancy test in my thong. oh god my butt was hurting so much! i shove it in my butthole and get dressed. i put on my professional outfit with my gucci belt and my triple boob lifter bra with a silky black dress. i put on my neon green high heels and slide on my backpack. i have to face him again. i slowly walk down the hall, my heels clacking. all the boys turned. don't look at me! i'm fat and pregnant! they all bit their lips. not now, boys!!! i see it. his office. i knocked gently. his sexy voice boomed. "come in."
my butt was quacking so hard. i slowly open the door knob. there he was. Mr. Obama. he wore a navy blue suit with sandals. oh god. his hairy and dusty toes stuck out. the pregnancy test was sliding out. i quenched harder. "it's me, Mr. Obama." he shot his head over my way. "you... it's..."
"Mr. Obama... i'm here to talk to you about something......"
"don't talk... i've missed you."
he stands up, seductively walking my way. oh god. i was shaking. my knees bent. he grabbed my waist. he pulled my gucci thong off and threw it on the door knob, it locking the door and closing the blinds. he threw me on his desk. papers flew. not again... my asshole was gaping. he loosened his tie, throwing it in the paper shredder. it shredded loud, hiding my groaning. oh god.
"wait... it hurts!"
"it's begging for me!"
he put his forearm in my butt. oh god i felt like i was getting period cramps! he felt my pregnancy test. oh no! he fished it out!
"you're ... pregnant?!" i sit up.
"yes Mr. Obama... your baby..."
he stared at it. "what will your wife think?"
"who cares... i'm going to be a father!"
"you already have two daughters, sir."
"oh right." he threw it aside, and continued fishing around. my stomach felt tingly.
"no! stop!" i kicked him with my heels.
he pulled out the baby!
"WAAAGGH WAAAAHHH" the newborn baby screamed. he cut the cord and give me the baby. "our new baby..." he wipes his sweat. the baby screamed loud. i'm a mom now! sorry boys, i have a baby with Mr. Obama, the sexiest man alive!