WHISPERS • A PERCICO AU

• Chapter 12 •

Nico didn't move until the running figure of Percy Jackson faded completely from his sight.

It was not until the first tear that he felt the immense pain in his heart building up and tearing him apart. He had loaded the gun and handed it to Percy. Without knowing it, he had been shot, and the gash of the wound wouldn't close up. He had never thought Percy would betray him like that.

The brown-eyed boy wanted to scream— but of course, he couldn't. He cried, trying to drain the excruciating feeling that was piercing his chest with no mercy. Sobbing, he brought his knees to his sternum, not realising his family had probably heard everything. 

Hiccuping, he lowered his head, curling up into a ball. He was still sitting on his bed, and he noticed the ripples on the bedsheets that Percy had created were still there, reminding Nico of everything he had done wrong.

Nico swallowed, trying to make the pain disappear, but nothing could stop him from wallowing in self-pity and regret.

But in the midst of his sorrow stood alone his confusion that reigned in his mind. More and more questions piled up in his brain, trying to make Nico feel even worse. What did Percy mean when he said "I already know"? How could he have known?  Why did he react like that?

But Nico feared he already knew the answer. Percy was absolutely disgusted. He had never thought of Nico and him as more than friends. He had never envisioned a romantic relationship between them. What have I been thinking? Of course Percy would already have another crush!

Gritting his teeth in self-resentment and exasperation, Nico started blaming himself. It was easier to be angry than sad. Why did I do that? Why can't I be normal?  How can doing something so wrong  feel so right?

Sealed in his own world, the black-haired boy hadn't even realised the slender figure standing at his doorframe. She looked uncertain to come in, despite the door being wide open.

"Nico?" she called out, her voice betraying her resentment and befuddlement.

The young boy turned around brusquely to face her, studying her figures through his vision blurry by tears. Her sleek dark hair fell around her shoulders to her chest, covering most of her face covered in noticeable freckles. Her eyebrows were slightly furrowed, but she also had an expression of confusion. Her olive skin looked bronze in the evening light. Her piercing black eyes were as dark as obsidian. A combination of black leggings and a white sweater covered her curves.

"What happened?" Bianca asked, stepping closer to Nico's bed.

She sat next to him, slinging an arm over her brother's shoulder protectively. More tears streamed from Nico's coffee brown eyes as he remembered what had happened only a few minutes ago, despite it feeling like a second ago. The pain that shattered his heart felt very fresh.

Nico raised his arms to his chest, trying to communicate, but his hands failed him. He couldn't form a proper sentence without gesturing rubbish. So instead, he signed I'm sorry. It was the last thing Percy had told him before running away.

His first thoughts would have been to chase him, but he was so dumbstruck that his brain faltered to work.

Bianca blinked apologetically, rubbing Nico's shoulder with her hand, the material of Nico's brown bomber jacket making her fingers calloused.

"It's going to be okay, Neeks. I told you, these boys aren't worth it. You're the strongest person I know." his sister said, trying to comfort him. Nico wanted to scoff, but it wouldn't sound very nice, considering Bianca was trying to make him feel better. How could he be the strongest person she knew? He turned mute at their mother's death as a way of coping with the grief when Bianca lived through it just fine, and right now, she was looking at him with his bloodshot eyes, face streaked with tears and unkempt hair.

Thanks, Nico signed instead.

He averted his gaze as his way of saying goodbye. Bianca chewed her bottom lip, casting an uncertain glance towards her younger brother. She then patted his shoulder before hoisting herself off Nico's bed.

Walking away, she closed the door behind her as she shuffled away to her own room, her footsteps echoing in the hallways. 

Nico wanted to curse, shout and scream as soon as Bianca's and Persephone's voices were distant chatters. But he didn't have the facilities for that. Nico wanted to yell for that. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Blinking back more tears, the brown-eyed boy turned to his blood red pillows. Clenching his fists, he started punching until it was the only thing he could hear.

Everything seemed so far away now— his heartbeat, his stepmother, his sister, Percy, his mother, the world...

But as soon as he stopped to pant or catch his breath, everything came crashing back down on him like the biggest tsunami ever.

Yet reduced to this pathetic mess of a state, Nico didn't continue the punching. If his father found out, it would be sure that he would be grounded. He could imagine Hades barging into the room, screaming his head off, blabbering about 'expensive furniture' and 'everything I do for you'.

Sighing, the brown-eyed boy got to his feet grudgingly. His knees were still weak as he wobbled out of his room, sniffing every now and then.

What was he doing? Nico wasn't sure.

He ambled off to the bathroom, the corners of his eyesight still blurry with tears.

Stumbling into the door, the white of the walls almost blinded him. He has lived in this house for years, but the contrast between this room from the rest of the building still made his eye twitch. It still befuddled his mind how his father could be such a neat-freak, and at the same time have a bright white bathroom in a pitch black house.

Swiftly locking the door behind him, Nico came to a halt in front of the sink. Taking his eyes off the tiled floor, he raised his eyes to meet his own reflection in the mirror.

But the view stunned him. Instead of his chocolate brown eyes were a pair of empty, dim, bittersweet pools of darkness staring back at him. His gaze was bloodshot, and Nico drowned in it until more tears welled up in his eyes.

He wiped them away roughly, tired of being such a coward, such a crybaby.

He opened the drawer beneath the sink, seeing the razor still tucked away. The blades looked so sharp, so magnetic...

No.

Abruptly, Nico shoved it back into the closet, taking his eyes off the reflecting metal. I can't do that, he thought. 

Not again.

Refusing to see himself, Nico walked to the door and slid down it, holding his head in his hands, hugging his knees to his chest. The pounding behind his left eyebrow hasn't left, and it was getting worse by the minute.

The silence was broken by his heavy heartbeats and seldom sniffles. He stifled the sobs that threatened to escape his taut lips, gritting his teeth.

Glancing out of the blurry window just above the opposite wall, Nico hiccuped, the memory of Percy's rejection still fresh in his mind.

The skies were blue for the rest of the week, but to him, they were grey.

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hey, sorry i've been pretty distant lately, but i've been 'homeschooled' for the past week and until the 25, sooo yeah.

i'm sorry if this triggered anyone, i just needed to vent because something happened on thursday which i can't get my mind off of.

have a good day/night tho!

-drakonator